So Roxanne watches Allie do this grand, small thing, and they run back to Yellow Lot, and Roxanne's like, "You have magic powers!" and they giggle, and Tammy continues to charm the ass off everyone that comes near the tent, and Roxanne interviews about how they will win, if they win, because they all "worked hard together."
Simultaneously, things are happening at Gold Rush. Things that make everyone watching quite nervous. George walks up, and Carolyn also looks on, bemused, as a chubby dude in the back, almost out of frame, cracks open a beer. And he can't be blamed for this, but if he'd looked a little closer, he'd have noticed it was a leftover can of Schlitz Gay. And you know what happens next: a beefy kind of anarchy. It's like the I WILL EAT THIS MEAT gay-adjacent Iron John bullshit from last week stopped being polite and started getting real. A man feeds another man a piece of meat. Then another. Their lips are all greasy and their eyes are darting and beastly, and they won't stop with the meat, they're shoving meat into their own mouths, into each other's mouths, and Michael is screaming and cheering, and everybody's covered in au jus and stuff is dripping off of chins, and cheeks, and it's never ending, and scary, and violent, and really...forceful. The word is forceful. I don't remember any situation in which I've seen this much food getting shoved places than this episode, in which it happens nearly constantly. Oh, we're not done. So one of the guys was able to cram more meat into himself than anybody else, and Michael congratulates him even as he spits the meat back out into his hand -- all of this lovingly, passionately recorded for all time -- and taut, muscled arms appear from outside the frame, offering Michael meat, and he bites into it with the ferocity of someone who does not work his issues out anywhere normal. All the men's eyes get that squinty tryptophan puffiness, that satiated creepiness, and they stare around like beasts.
Carolyn interviews that, while GR did "a great job creating a spectacle," and their traffic is a madhouse, they may or may not be "converting that into sales." They raffle off a grill, which of course pushes some kind of idiotic Tim Allen internal button inside them, and they all grunt and yell and act gross. And then something intriguing, which is when I turned the corner on this episode, and started to think I wasn't giving this show enough credit. What we're hearing is Michael's voice, and here's what it's saying: "This is man food." Men jump and push against each other. "We're a bunch of men." A large man screams incomprehensibly with a beery exuberance. "Football is a man's sport." Shots of the ravaged remains of trays and trays of food. "It's about meat." Hot young college boys shove their meat into Michael's willing mouth. "It's a guy food." More meat juice all over everything; Michael's eyes closed because the meat is so, so good. "Guys like steak. Guys like [Scantily-Clad Fetish Objects]. We're going to -- [giggle] -- whoop Synergy's ass!" You tell me now. I don't know. Troubling, right? I'm not just...I mean, that's fucked up, right? Lee goes like this: "WOOO!"









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