Fuckin' what? Gross. I know he's a dipshit, but his dipshittiness is so often in that territory that it can't just be a coincidence. I don't want to know about him like that. He asks Allie why Synergy has done so well, and she says that it's "rare" to find "three women" that are "so confident" and "get along so well." ["It's only rare on this show, bobblehead. Don't play into Trump's shit." -- Sars] Aww, I wish Charmaine were around. She'd love that. Charmaine was so in synch with Synergy -- they'd never joke about gang-raping her! Now that's Girl Power. Or, you know, Human Power. Allie says their chances seem good, and Lee says the Rush chances seem good. Trump talks about Rutgers and football and my brain turns off, because those are magic hypnotism words, and then all of a sudden their task is to throw a tailgating party by selling the food of Outback Steakhouse. Which I will admit upfront I do enjoy and I am not ashamed of that fact. I have been there twice and both times it was a gustatory lollapalooza. The difference between me telling you this -- just between us friends -- and the people saying it over and over and over on this stupid game show is quite simple: I am not being paid to say it. Because I am not a whore. I'm just a boy, who likes a delicious steak every now and then. Two parking lots, two tents, two tailgate parties, the team to sell the most Outsteak and Deep-Fried Onion Crap wins. As Trump goes on and on about how much he loves Outsteak, as opposed to the steak he, you know, actually eats -- when he's not chowing the fuck down on nonexistent Arby's, that is -- Tammy smiles like she's a blissful blind girl in a television movie about a country kind of hope. Who dropped E a half hour ago.
Synergy is the yellow team, Gold Rush is blue. The yellow team dances around dorkily like the beginning of Laverne & Shirley as Trump points and goggles at the Scantily-Clad Fetish Objects and talks to them like an over-friendly uncle. (I put the two things together and invent my next TV show, which is inspired by the edgy and dark "re-imagining" that's right now all the rage. It's called Laverne/Shirley, and it's about a pair of best friends and possible lovers who operate a vigilante ring in Milwaukee, and it's loosely based on the biography of Aileen Wuornos. In the pilot they steal Trump's chopper and mangle his face a little bit. But the high concept is that Laverne, the more forceful and charismatic of the two, doesn't really exist!) So Trump leaves the Scantily-Clad Fetish Objects alone and as soon as he's gone, they bust out the Purell. Roxanne interviews over highly embarrassing dancing and hopping footage about how Sean's exit left the team feeling "so good" that they "just had to dance." It's really dorky. But, I think, when Sean is gone, I too shall dance. And I cannot say that it will not be dorky, but I can guarantee that it will not be televised, and I think there's a lesson there we can all appreciate. Roxanne terms the whole activity a "celebration" about "the fun" that they were planning on having by trouncing the men. So yeah, in terms of the way this show works, I think that you might as well mix up some lemonade there. But with Roxanne, I wonder if it's lemonade or Kool-Aid in the pitcher, and I'm scared to find out. Footage of Team Synergy and the cheer squad is intercut, just in case you were thinking of the women as grown adults with any kind of business acumen.