Apprentice
Backs Against The Wal-Mart

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Twelve: Use Your Words

"Tammy, nothing personal but your idea was bad all the way down to the ground. You demonstrated a lack of understanding of both nominal clients, the buyer demographic, and the product itself. In addition, you decorate like a stripper with an Urban Outfitters gift card."

"Oh yeah? Well, Roxanne was mean to me, and she and Allie are working together and are friends, and they wouldn't let me have mirrors, and they wouldn't help me with my shitty idea, and they wouldn't let me play with their hula hoop with them even though I'm the cutest, and they're big mean meanies!"

"I...see your point. Viceroys, take these two out of here and throw them under a bus!"

Commercials. Final totals: Allie 26%, Tammy 20%, Roxanne 19%. Allie, because nobody likes an eye-roller. Tammy, because she's been a pussy the whole episode. Roxanne, because she's on Synergy, and the ladies of television can't help but eventually turn on each other. Which is, itself, based on a false positive resulting from two facts: one being that the people of reality television always turn on each other, and with some rare examples, the women of TV are firstly people; but the women-are-bitches principal results from gender bunching: the all-girl groups are self-selected (see: the evictions of Brent, Michael, Sean) because of a false individual belief that shared womanhood trumps Type-A Asshole personhood, in some way, so that the other women will be nicer to them/easier to beat, which means that Girl Power will always fall apart on its feet, because it's rats in a cage in any combination, because what kind of person would go on this show? However, it's unfortunate for those of us out here, watching this crap, because it always goes the same way, and people assume that's how things fall out in real life, and it's not, and don't be an ignorant pisshead. But at least it can serve as justification for thinking women are bitches, which is sometimes all you can hang on to if you wanna get through the day.

Roxanne is all smiles into the Boardroom, where Trump asks Tammy why she's PM again after just two weeks. She said she wanted to prove she could win a task, and that she wanted his approval. Oh, my bad, she said "respect." Huge difference there. Allie says Tammy was a good manager in terms of operations, but that her attention to detail sometimes stands in the way of the big picture. She does not mention that the big picture in this case was one of a hairy Xeroxed ass. Roxanne draws an interesting parallel: "Unlike previous tasks, this was difficult for us." Hmm. And the last time they won, at Rutgers: who was PM? Could you refresh me? That's my girl. "I think...because of the way she led." Trump -- oh, Notorious DJT, you send us with your fantastic lines! -- asks if it was because Suddenly Tammy was so "tough." Roxanne keeps the guffaw down long enough to say it was more about the "vision." Tammy interrupts where she should not, about how she's proud of the vision, but that it wasn't "taken" in the way she'd have hoped. Huh. Also known as failure to produce for the client. Shut your gorgeous face, pumpkin.

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Apprentice

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