Apprentice
Backs Against The Wal-Mart

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Twelve: Use Your Words

Roxanne goes to the lying place: "I did exactly what I was asked to do," she almost-lies. "She said, 'This project is all about me,'" she basically lies. "If I said we should focus on XYZ, she would walk off..." which we exactly see, but Ivanka nods. There is now a screaming match that is boring, lots of screaming about how Tammy didn't get support. She yips at T3: Rise Of The Machines that does he want somebody who "adds fuel to the party" or who can "put out the fire," and Roxanne is like, firefighter imagery aside, she's a choker, she chokes. My Trumps, My Trumps: "Does Allie choke?" Roxanne steps back from that one and says that "we all do." Tr-Tr-Troxie is like, "Not everybody, lady." Tammy whines that "they always put everybody down," which matters not a whit, and Ivanka catches Allie eye-rollin' again and calls her on it. Oh snap! "Allie, if you have something to add...?" God, I love Ivanka. Allie again bitches that she wasn't rolling the eyes, and Bill jumps at the opportunity to speak, yelping out that she rolled the eyes before, and he hated it! Just like Ivanka! Allie fakely apologies to Bill and Tammy.

T-Bag and his daughter have this unending conversation about how he takes things really personally and that if you cross him he will hate you for the rest of his life and he never recovers from it. How very fucking admirable, not to mention professional. Ivanka's nodding, like, "I have no idea why you would want this on record, but...yeah, I suppose your emotional maturity leaves a bit to be desired, Dad." It's not a funny moment, but she does her best to nod with a smile.

Who was the worst? Roxanne, per Tammy: She brings drama (I'll give you that) and distracts Allie (I really do think it's Satan, rather than Roxanne, who holds Allie's attention lots of the time, but I think they do get into more trouble together than they do apart -- and by the same token, they get the most work done that way too, so...), and brings Allie down. Which is BS, because that's a lot of fingers to be pointing at once. Roxanne employs the Tarek Defense that she's a straight shooter and honest and verbalizes her concerns and ideas and should not be punished for that, and T-Bag swerves sharply left to ask if that means she doesn't "get along with people," which: Huh? And everybody kind of ignores that part because he's on some kind of satellite delay in his brain, and T-Bag asks if she doesn't in fact owe some kind of allegiance to Tammy as the team leader, and Roxanne responds that, here and now, Tammy's a losing Project Manager, and has to attack one of two people. Bill, uselessly, points out that Roxanne attacked Tammy during the task. Which...is material in that both sentences use the same word, "attack" in different verb forms, but other than that, it's just Bill talking for no fucking reason.

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Apprentice

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