Backs Against The Wal-Mart

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
Lesson Twelve: Use Your Words

Sean and Lee produced something that was "clearly rushed and unfinished," but it was quite retail-friendly, showed a range of different products and price points, and totally worked. Right, and I shouldn't have worried, because I forgot who we were dealing with. Wal-Mart: a company whose main claim to fame is that they deny the same basic human rights to their developmentally disabled employees as to anyone else, and expect a pat on the back for this, and for eating whole the microeconomic life cycles of entire small communities and converting them into ghost towns for no reason except to get their sweatshop goods into the hands of more ignorant people who value convenience over infrastructure. Microsoft: a company who never met a bug or CPU-devouring redundancy they didn't love, who was viewed by Janet Reno as a foe on the level of David Koresh, who argued the definitions of words like "compete"...and I'm not even bothered by the IE anti-trust issue, because it wasn't one, I'm talking about crimes against man. This is a company who moved forward with a Sony rootkit "removal" system which did not remove the rootkit and furthermore installed additional unwanted software. This is a company whose planned obsolescence on software -- which should work pretty much forever -- is shorter than the life cycle of your average spawning insect. And such are the balls of this company they don't even try to cover it with "functionality" and "convenience" like Jobs and his bitches, they just say: "Here's a new one, we don't know why, and it's going to take up more memory and it's going to hang more of the time, and your grandpa still isn't going to understand it, but we've got a talking paperclip and spyware reporting your actions directly to us, so just install it because we're all you've got." Two companies that value over appearance and satisfying the higher-ups and selling product at the biggest rate of return, and have reaped the benefits of doing work that way -- shouldn't have worried about old Lee at all.

The Rushees get to go on the worst (or greatest) reward yet: flying on a private plane to DreamWorks Animation to audition for the movie Over The Hedge, which coincidentally debuted across the country this week, and hang out with Katzenberg. Allie makes sour faces, Tammy is sad, Roxanne makes a mean face, cartoons are stupid and they make my stomach hurt to watch them, especially the latter ones. I almost threw up at Toy Story and ever since then I've been unable to watch them either at the theatre or at home, which I don't feel is that much of a hardship but people seem to think makes me a terrible person in some way. I got through The Incredibles by taking off my glasses and watching it from the kitchen with a glass of water. Those large, fuzzy red shapes were quite clever, weren't they?

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