Commercial: Creepy robot fingers probing and stroking and touching and fingering and rubbing and frottaging the new Lexus, inside and out. Is it possible to engineer desire? I have neither the time nor the inclination to go there, but (A) GROSS and (B) see, Tammy?
The boys take a "stretch" limo (two trashy concepts I don't understand, one building on the other) to DreamWorks and hang out with (and by that I mean "bore") Katzenberg. Sean writes an intense love letter about Katzenberg now that's a lot like the paragraph immediately above. They sit down and they -- and by "they," I mean "we" -- learn all the fuck about the movie, which they preview and laugh so, so hard at. Sean writes a love letter to the movie, and to William Shatner. I don't have the energy to discuss this behavior with you anymore, I really don't. Sometimes, Sean, we like to feel like the prettiest girl at the ball, but if you're so interested in proving how immensely enthusiastic about girls you are all the time, when you tell us we're the prettiest, we aren't going to believe you, and it's going to be kind of an insult. That is my advice to you, but it is also a metaphor for my other advice to you, which is: stuff and places and companies feel the same way. Your ability to switch asses mid-kiss is not lost on us. They go into the booth and schmuck around and do their lines, where these two dudes are barbecuing and something comes flying from over the hedge, I guess, and they both go "Whoa!" and it's stupid and it takes a billion years for this. "Whoa!" Not interested in letting us down, Sean goes wildly overboard, of course, in discussing the experience: "I truly believed in my soul that I was 'Barbecue Barry'; I was like, 'Man, I'm feeling you, man! I'm feeling you!'" I'd like to feel this: Click, click, click. There's more shadowboxing, and then Sean shitting himself as they watch the scene. He gets all kind of Elliott Yamin with the teeth and the self-conscious "Did you see how excited I am? Hey. Hey! Having a great and hilarious time over here! Sweatin' with joy!" Everybody screening their wonderful "Whoa" performances applauds and they applaud themselves, of course, and the DreamWorks people fake-huddle and Katzenberg says, "You're hired!" Which is, see, a joke. Which Sean doesn't get, so then we sit through a love letter to fate and destiny and serendipshit about how he hopes somebody else says that phrase to him soon.