Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 639 USERS: C+
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Lesson Twelve: Use Your Words

Roxanne admits that Allie is more of a "yes woman" than she is, and Bill sits back, satisfied about stuff that has nothing to do with the task at hand. You've really fucking earned your paycheck this week, buddy. Tammy blurts that Roxanne has been riding Allie's coattails, and Roxanne yelps, "Oh my gosh -- that's remarkable," in a kind of Andrea way. Then Allie sighs and gets bored as they scream and call each other liars and immature and this and that. Finally T-Bag screams at both of them to stop, loud, and they look sad. "Givin' me a headache," he says. They talk about the actual facts, that they teamed up on Tammy but also got no leadership, and comparing win/loss records, T-Bag says that Tammy seems to be in over her head. She makes a sick face and gets all "Mr. Trump, though" about how "nobody executed." He tells her that as PM, your entire job is to make them execute, and that she had no control, and that nobody respects her. Roxanne chimes in that being "dismissed" so immediately gave her little reason to respect Tammy, but that was hard because her goal was for Synergy to be the Final Three. "So what happened?" It was all about Tammy, she dismissed everything her team said. Which again: was nothing, from what we saw.

Mies Van Der Trump is all, "I know about design," on and on about how he's this person, and that she "missed the mark" with "lousy design." Now, if I were Tammy, I would have said, "So gold-plate the Xbox 360 and give it some fake tits, some fleur-de-lis stencils on the side, maybe a giant penis or pinecone finial coming up out the middle, that would be better?" Instead, she says there were "no better ideas," which is frigging stupid, because that's like, "My head is a box full of wadded-up tissue paper and I like the Oscars, but that's about all I got." Roxanne says it's not true, she wishes it were but it wasn't, and I just wish we'd seen it, man. Trump says Tammy's leadership wasn't good, the design stank, and he thought the room was terrible. All of which is...true. Having the attention span of your average housecat really makes this show enjoyable because when it's an "I don't like you" firing, it's exciting as all get out, because those are my favorite, but then when people get fired for task-related fuck-uppery, it's exciting as all get out, because those are my favorite. So I'm super-happy Tammy's getting fired for task-related fuck-uppery, because that hasn't happened in like, forever. And then she gets fired.

Apprentice

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