Trump arrives; he and Bill and a little boy join the scores of fans in the stands. Oh, it's the exec, right. Kinetic goes first on the show: Angela screaming, Kristine pushing something out onto the field, some mad talk about how they're going to be "educating and entertaining everyone" while...people dressed as vitamins run around madly. I don't know how old you have to be to call bullshit on that. I spent part of grade school in Phoenix, Arizona? Where the sun lives? And every year they'd have this crank-head (we called it "crank" in those days) come out in a puffy Rainbow Brite skirt and tell us to SWASWA and I have long since forgotten what that stands for, but I'm like constantly trying to SWASWA to this day, and even at the age of I guess five, I silently passed judgment on this woman and her robot companion: "This is monumental BS."
Perhaps I was precocious, but I prefer to have this amount of faith in the next generation: an Olympic-sized lesbian threatens to "educate and entertain" them and a bunch of hungry day-players dressed as M&Ms toss down their cigarettes and start capering around a soccer field: one of them at least has gotta call bullshit. They're the future of the human race, you know? Surely one of them is going to have some questions. Kristine explains to us, like the slower friends of the bright child I am imagining, that the vitamin people are quote "running across the field." So then we watch them run around the field for hours, with Angela yelling God knows what at the people, who can't hear her. There's a giant heart, which stands for heart disease, and pills having fun, and there are rings they run through that symbolize "physical fitness," apparently. And the whole time this is happening, Muna's giving the same presentation in Español, which doesn't help anybody in any way. All the pills and weird furries have English and Spanish written on them, and...WHOA. IS THAT HEIDI? DRESSED AS A VITAMIN? How can she still be that fucking hot when she's dressed like a vitamin? She's magic! Angela runs around like an entire cheer squad, shouting nonsense; three people stand up while before them, lower on the stands, three dudes take a nap and do crossword puzzles.













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