Wearing a dirndl, Nicole is screaming. Why does she dress like the Pennsylvania Dutch sometimes? It's not modesty, because we saw her kissing boys on TV, and it's not about flattering the countenance, because she looks like a long-ago Olden Days wife when she does it, the tired kind who's like one hoe of the back forty before she lies down in the red dirt and falls asleep forever. So I don't know. Maybe she's quirky. Quirky? I got quirky: Frank speaking that language of his that is just so heartbreakingly close to English, until you get up close and start trying parse words. He's the Monet of talking. Subtitles on, and...apparently this a story about Joe. "HI JOE!" screams Goody Nicole, waving her arms in the air like the bull's in the heather again. Some mean gay dancers prowl around Joe, who is actually Tim, and follow him from ring to ring like the smallest episode of Oz ever. And the least frightening. Surya flounces around elsewhere, it seems unrelated to Joe's fate. There's sad music as the gay symbols of...something...menace Joe into a corner, and he's like, "Not the jazz hands! Not the jazz hands!" but you know, more, like, lethargic? But then MISTER VITAMIN SHOWS UP! Not a single effing person cares, in all the world. The GNC exec kid pulls out his DS and goes, "Oh Castlevania, you eldritch minx. Through a thousand lifetimes you have haunted me and my doomed, damned bloodline. But I will unearth your undying secrets yet."
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A | 617 USERS: C+
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