First of all, I have never told a living soul that story, because it's too weird. How did that get invented, much less approved? So many bad decisions led to that occurrence. And what the fuck was I doing? What was so bizarre about me as a kid, independent of this thing implicating me, that I lent myself to this venture? Happily and unquestioningly? With my own input and goals for the performance? And second of all: it's so close to the twenty-some years that followed, in terms of the situations that I've ended up in and how I got there, that it's scary. You had your gay experience at summer camp? Ha. I wish: I had the gayest experience ever at summer camp. Just not the good kind.
And that's what the skits were like.
So then there's soccer, and then Trump and the little boy and Bill are grilling them about their opinions before they say who won. Angela asserts that they worked "extra hard," which means what exactly in context I do not know, and that they put on a great show. Surya describes the obvious and common idea, which has come up on this franchise before, as "out of the box," and then says that they executed it to perfection, and that he couldn't be prouder. And I don't think that's bravado: I think he thinks they're winning, and this is his way of peeing on it. Kid Exec describes Kinetic: good brand integration, it was entertaining, they did it also in Spanish, they communicated the brand to within an inch of its life. A footrace of dancing vitamin furries, and a screaming hockey player. I don't know. It was vastly better than the other one, but so is like...everything. And Kid Exec is on that train: Arrow showed poor brand integration, had a bad storyline if you can call it that, and overall he didn't understand their concept. They were like a boxer at a gay bar with a coven of choreographers? And then vitamins? And then they all take their clothes off? No thanks.
Kinetic wins, James is shitting it, Kristine is so happy (you can tell because she goes, "I'm so happy!"), Heidi's laughing. Stefani is dead sad; Bill's fake tan looks even nicer outdoors. You could get used to him, eventually. I guess I see where you guys are coming from. Kristine interviews how if she'd lost this one, Muna was going to be found in Echo Park with a shiv -- no, it's Kristine -- a graphite chopstick between the ribs. Hopefully, she hopes, they'll work it out and Muna will eventually shut up. But Jacob, you're saying, what's the reward? The most interesting part of each episode! The reward is to play golf "at the number-one-rated course in California," which of course "happens to be mine," the Trump National No Carolyns Allowed Golf Club L.A. They not only get to play golf -- the most fun you can have besides bowel cancer -- but they get to do it with Donald Trump! Plus a "very important man in golf," who can only be Satan himself.