Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 598 USERS: C+
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Lesson Eight: The Level Of Our Incompetence

Surya whines through the hedge once again, to Angela this time, about how he doesn't trust his team. You know what's so funny? They're all operating under the assumption that their fake first-day friendships actually count. Like, if he'd stayed on Kinetic, they'd all hate him. Not as bad as Arrow does, but his sucking is a constant no matter which side of the hedge. But because Kinetic never had to deal, they're able to make these sweeping statements of his overall worth and how close they are, and he's just as lame, sneaking over to the hedge after every task to whine and cry and moan about it -- to people he barely knows. To people he knows less than he knows Arrow, at this point. It's just so...imaginary and freshman-year and crazy. I love it. Angela tells him, based on no information but the lies he tells himself, that his ideas are resulting in wins, and Viceroy Kristine knows that. He starts crying, horribly, and whines about how Kinetic has to know that he's the reason they keep winning. Which isn't true. I love how with everybody else, they're so demonstrative and annoying, but when it comes to Surya's brilliance, it's like this secret admiration that they cherish but can never reveal. Like his whole life is a surprise birthday party and he's waiting for it to hit, and then he'll have friends.

Muna and Angela and Heidi feel so bad for him, due to their imaginary relationship with their imaginary version of him, and Muna asks if he even has one person to help him. The whole team is having a great time, while this is going on, by the way: laughing and chatting and not sucking. Muna mentions that James has never won, or something, and Surya mentions that they've never won at all without him as PM. Which is wack. And if you think that's a red flag that he's going to think PM record matters, this year especially, you're totally right. Angela interviews that it must just be a personality conflict -- and she's right. Surya's personality is in conflict with reality and how personalities should be. Surya whines and mewls and cries and gives another three speeches about how awesome he is, like he's so offended that he even has to explain how wonderful he is, and they agree with him, but they sure do take off pretty fast. Muna tells him to fight, and promises to pray for him, which I always find rude, but he tells her she's sweet, and she runs off, to get away from him and the one-man show of his magical, wonderful, undiscovered perfection.

Apprentice

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