Surya: "James creates a climate of ass-covering! He is a weather storm of covering ass. He takes issue with key decisions! It makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job! I prefer to feel like I'm not doing any job at all! Just making lists and diagrams that nobody will ever see or care about or understand! Lists of everything! This is not a climate where I feel like my lists of key ideas are protected from the storm of covered asses!"
James: "I give: Tim's sucky idea that the executive, you, and Bill all hated? I...hated it. Happy now?"
Surya: "You are disloyal to the billionth degree! You are ruining everything! I have a 5-2 record. I have a 5-2 record. I have a 5-2 record. I stepped up one time! These things didn't just HAPPEN, Mr. Trump. You forced me to make them happen! And then they happened in spite of me! It's no coincidence!"
Trump: "Hey, this was funny a few weeks ago when I dicked you around. Let's do this again: Surya. Do you like Kinetic or Arrow better? Who's more talented?"
Surya: "Ummmm? I got along with Kinetic for the five seconds I was involved with them, in which I did nothing and not a single conflict arose!"
Trump: "Do you like them better? Like a hundred times better?"
Surya: "My usual lack of backbone just lost its backbone. I'm jelly now."
Trump: "Every time! You're like a dog!"
Trump: "Stefani, who should I fire?"
Stefani: "On this task, Surya."
Trump: "And generally? Who's the least competent?"
Stefani: "Oh, I wasn't implying anything, sorry: Surya. No matter what you ask, if it's negative I'm going to answer Surya."
Trump: "Tim? Nicole?"
They: "Suryaaaa!"
Trump: "Nicole, what about Tim's shitty idea?"
Nicole: "You shouldn't be reprimanded for a brainstorming session."
Trump: "So this is all Tim's fault?"
Nicole: "I don't see where you're going with this, even though it's totally obvious. We were all giving ideas...look, do you know what 'brainstorming' is?"
Trump: "Every other week I do. This is an off week so I don't, so therefore Tim should be fired?"
Frank: "Um, no. Tim stood by his shitty idea and we executed it poorly. This indicts Surya somehow."
Trump: "It sucks to be Surya especially today, no?"
Surya: "You're my future employer, as far as I'm concerned."
Trump: "Kind of? Just slightly? Just the slightest, just a titch, could you...shut the fuck up? I'm dicking Nicole around and making her think she's getting her boyfriend fired. Just...what is wrong with you?"
Surya: "Um, nothing? Like for starters I have the best record blah blah blah..."
Trump: "But your team hates you, though."
Surya: "That is because I am perfect. I don't know what to do about it."













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