Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 603 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Chain wallets and small potatoes

And now, Net Worth. Erin is working with one of the VJs. The other person on the team who's going to be on camera? Chris. Because...yeah, I don't know. The secret charisma of the mildly insane? Maybe. Erin starts by offering up the first item, which is New Found Glory and their house party. "Bid your brains out," Erin admonishes intelligently, making the office-bound Trump remark with some surprise, "She's good on television!" He is easy to please. And then we hear something about Simple Plan, and Trump says he needs Rhona to get the car, because -- surprise! -- he's heading over to Fuse. That spontaneous bastard. Rhona picks up the phone. That was very lifelike and convincing, that entire sequence. I felt like I was just eavesdropping on Donald Trump's everyday life.

Angie watches monitors in the control room as Erin and Chris make rather flat efforts to sell their "experiences." And then Tyler pops up -- sans drums -- behind Erin and the VJ, so apparently John didn't succeed in entirely chasing him away with the threatened drum hijacking. George looks on with amusement as Tyler blows both of the women off the screen without even trying. And then? They're visited by Gene Simmons, who tries to eat Erin's ear wax, and I really hate this part, and I can't stand him, and I want his segment to be over as soon as possible, so let's just end it here. Chris tells everyone to remember when the auction closes, and we are out. Angie interviews that she thinks the show accomplished what it needed to accomplish, and now it's about the bidding. Indeed. Tautological, but undeniable. (Which itself is sort of circular -- how do we get out of this?)

Later, Trump arrives at the studio to give out the results. The teams cantaloupe up. Along with George and Carolyn, Trump walks in to address them. He says that lots of money was raised, and both teams did great. George gives the Net Worth results, saying that all five experiences got very good bids. Their total was $11,325. Carolyn says that Magna had three bids that only came to between $400 and $700, so that is weak, indeed. But they offered those two week-long experiences with Moby and Lil Kim, and as it turned out, those two prizes alone generated over $19,000, for a total of $21,654. Almost doubled up the other guys. Magna celebrates. Chris and his tight black t-shirt look at the floor. Trump congratulates both teams on raising lots of good and happy money for sick people, and then tells them that of course, there is no reward, because self-righteousness is its own reward. Oh, and Kendra will be exempt next week. And somebody on Net Worth will be fired, and it won't be Stephanie. Cue the tense music!

Apprentice

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