Bling It On

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Chain wallets and small potatoes

Back with Lil Jon, Tana admires his cup. Which I freely admit I knew nothing about, but apparently is a great, enormous deal. (DON'T email me. I DON'T need to know. DON'T.) Kendra, too, calls it "the most bling-blingin' cup" in an interview, and I so wish they would stop with that. She does say that it says "Crunk Cup" on it in diamonds, and that's...fucked up, in a way that might come all the way back around to being cool, though it's hard to say. Craig tells Lil Jon that he thinks it would be great if someone could be the Cup Bearer for a day. (I DON'T KNOW.) Lil Jon likes the sound of that. They package it with some face time and a cameo appearance in a video, and there you have it. Tana claims in an interview that "it's like [she] blossomed into this hip-hop follower."'s actually nothing like that, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. She insists that it's like she was "not this white girl," was actually exactly like she was this white girl, despite her adding that she was "down wid 'em." She says that she's a good salesperson, and her selling was working. Which I think it was, in a geeky sort of way. Who can resist a dork? No one, that's who. Kendra says that the meeting went so well that she thought Craig and Tana would be the best team to take care of the rest of the "experiences," so she just sent them out on their own to do the negotiating, and she headed back to hook up with Bren and Alex and "get production moving."

At the studio, Bren is chatting with someone about something production-related, and he tells us in an interview that they've chosen to put Tana and Craig on the 11-minute auction. Alex makes some reference to Tana talking about "Moby's package," and then Bren decides that they should label Tana a "MILF." Bren calls it "not a very appropriate term," and then he sort of explains it, and they cut away, and Kendra says, "Just no cucumber," which is pretty funny.

At the Net Worth studio, Chris and Angie are setting up the production side. Chris insists in an interview that all this stuff he's doing about "the layout of the show" is in fact "super-important," including how it's going to run as smoothly as possible. He insists that the point is to get people to bid, and you can't get bids without a good show. Chris wants a "backstage" feel to the auction. Chris is all about the auction feel!

Magna meets with New Found Glory (I DON'T KNOW, except that Rhapsody tells me they were on a compilation from the Spike Video Game Awards, snerk), and Erin begins to explain about their effort to raise money. Of course, John jumps into the middle of the sentence and says something stupid and pointless, as is apparently his strategy. And then Erin tries to explain the first option they have for something to auction off, and John cuts her off again, making the irrelevant point that the option she's about to describe is the one he likes the best, and then he goes ahead and takes over to tell them that this option -- playing at someone's house -- is the one they should take. Stephanie interviews that the idea was that they were supposed to be working on the deals together, but John insisted on jumping in and dominating the conversation every time. George is looking in on this discussion as John tries to sell them on the house party; George explains that he's an expert on negotiation, and he thinks the fact that Net Worth went in with an idea in mind that they tried to force on the artist kept them from coming up with anything naturally -- as, he does not point out but I will, with Magna seeing the Crunk Cup and going from there. Oh, and John also offers to "sell [Erin and Stephanie] to you right now" in order to close the deal. They act good-natured about their protest, but really, what choice did they have? He sucked for doing that, whether they put up a big fight or not.

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