Bling It On

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Chain wallets and small potatoes

And now we learn that, supposedly, Trump is watching all this from his office. Or from someone's office. Probably someone he just fired. "She's done a good job, considering that's not her world," Trump comments about Tana. Yeah. She's hiding it real well. You'd never know this wasn't her world. I love how when they go back to the Fuse VJs, one of them says, "Wow, she's like straight outta Compton with that talk." Heh. Yeah, just like that. We peek at the screen showing the bids advancing for the team's various "experiences." Right now, they're pimping the Moby experience, and then it's Lil Kim, and Kendra points out in an interview that immediately they started getting excellent bids on the two experiences that were for entire weeks, because they're worth so much more than the rest of the stuff. Tana and Craig sell Jadakiss, who is apparently Tana's "dog." Or "dawg." They finish up with Eve, with whom Tana thinks everyone should imagine "chillin'." Kendra explains that when they're done with the auction, they wait a while to see what bids come in. She's a little concerned, but she's pretty positive. There is lots of hugging at Magna. I'm not really down.

And now, Net Worth. Erin is working with one of the VJs. The other person on the team who's going to be on camera? Chris. Because...yeah, I don't know. The secret charisma of the mildly insane? Maybe. Erin starts by offering up the first item, which is New Found Glory and their house party. "Bid your brains out," Erin admonishes intelligently, making the office-bound Trump remark with some surprise, "She's good on television!" He is easy to please. And then we hear something about Simple Plan, and Trump says he needs Rhona to get the car, because -- surprise! -- he's heading over to Fuse. That spontaneous bastard. Rhona picks up the phone. That was very lifelike and convincing, that entire sequence. I felt like I was just eavesdropping on Donald Trump's everyday life.

Angie watches monitors in the control room as Erin and Chris make rather flat efforts to sell their "experiences." And then Tyler pops up -- sans drums -- behind Erin and the VJ, so apparently John didn't succeed in entirely chasing him away with the threatened drum hijacking. George looks on with amusement as Tyler blows both of the women off the screen without even trying. And then? They're visited by Gene Simmons, who tries to eat Erin's ear wax, and I really hate this part, and I can't stand him, and I want his segment to be over as soon as possible, so let's just end it here. Chris tells everyone to remember when the auction closes, and we are out. Angie interviews that she thinks the show accomplished what it needed to accomplish, and now it's about the bidding. Indeed. Tautological, but undeniable. (Which itself is sort of circular -- how do we get out of this?)

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