"Tarek. You're a very smart guy, you've got a lot of things going for you. But man, you're impossible to lead. I don't know where you're coming from!" Tarek says he'd appreciate another opportunity, but Trump continues to wax befuddled. "You have a good day, you have a bad day; you're a wonderful leader, you're bad as a follower; you have these outstanding moments, and then you have these moments of great, great failure. But you really are impossible to lead, and a great leader also has to know how to be led. And you...don't know how to be led. Tarek, you're fired." Lee becomes a man right there in his pants. Mazel tov.

Michael and Lee board one elevator, Charmaine and Tarek get on the other one, smiling broadly and chatting easily. He leans over to say something -- they seem to just be relieved to be the hell out of there. I don't blame them. I'm kind of giggling hysterically now too. Inside, Trump says he "liked both of those people," but it was "just so obvious." I have to say that I do agree with his reasoning: she failed the task, he fails life. Boom. Easy. Carolyn's not so sure: "I think it could've gone either way." I don't know what she means. I like to think that she's actually a sleeper agent and that around the Live Finale one year she's going to start screaming and jump across the table with a knife or garroting wire screaming "BASTA!" and that'll be the end of Donald Trump. Especially this week. Bill sighs exhaustedly -- but still with a hint of terror -- about how it's "coming down to the wire," and Carolyn giggles. Trump, one hand underneath the table and out of sight for some reason, hums to himself. "That should be an interesting cab ride; they'll be fighting all the way home."

Man, though, I wish they would make out. At least give us something out of this worthless fucking episode. But no. In the cab, Charmaine stares slightly to our left, chewing gum and nearly laughing, while Tarek smirks nervously and blinks out the window. They're either deadly pissed, or near tears, or about to laugh their asses off. Probably all of the above, if they have any humanity left at all.

In conclusion: this show can go gang-rape itself. Better luck next week.