What a sickening, nasty, ugly little episode this turned out to be. The task: open new franchises of a low-cost hair salon, success to be measured by total one-day revenue. Synergy PM Tammy weathers the attentions of Sean, who is quickly losing what structural integrity he started with, and succeeds easily by focusing on foot traffic and product up-sales. Gold Rush PM Charmaine makes one thousand mistakes -- helped not at all by Tarek's obvious obstructions and Lee's creepy Boys Only misogyny -- including getting her hair done in the middle of the task. Lee and Tarek pants around the entire episode doing nothing and making fun of Charmaine for being a woman. After they lose, Lee visits each of his teammates in turn and offers to sell out the others, then addresses us directly about what a stand-up guy he is. In the BR, Trump suggests gang-banging Charmaine, causing Michael, Lee, Tarek, and Bill to laugh uproariously. Trump tells Charmaine she's very pretty, but should have controlled Tarek better -- just like Allie with Andrea last week, only Tarek isn't a ball-busting witch, so it's unforgivable. Trump fires Charmaine for her actual mistakes, then fires Tarek for being a douchebag, and the two ride off in a cab full of rage, boredom, and laudable attempts not to laugh out loud at what a fucking joke this show is.
Last week, Roxanne was remarking on how Andrea made it difficult to "run the ball into the end zone," and Sean was kissing Andrea's doomed ass for no reason in an attempt to appear very balanced and open-minded and heavenly instead of what he actually is, which is a pussy who has worked with Andrea on nine tasks and knows damn well she's the problem. Meanwhile, Lee is upstairs trying to make Tarek admit that they're best friends who'll be having lonely dinner together every night together for the rest of their lives, like in Diner, and Tarek is being tolerant of Lee's little-brotherism because he's insecure and likes being adored. "Where are these Synergists?" asks Lee, and Tarek floats the possibility that it's going to be a long Boardroom, with "a lotta yelling, lotta fighting." Lee -- so proud, because like everything that happens in this universe, he gives himself credit for the concept of strife now too -- crows loudly and embarrassingly, "That's what I like! That's what I'm talking about!" And Tarek, at the stove, becomes more lovably condescending and bored with Lee than I would have imagined possible: "Is that what you're talking about?" There's a silent "Buddy," or "Tiger," at the end of that sentence that makes it golden. "Is that what you're talking about, My Main Man? Gimme five. Yeah."
They talk about how Synergy has been "too synergistic for too long," just like tragically happened to Mary J. Blige, and then Synergy comes in, Allie all about how wonderfully supported she was by "[her] team right here -- if it weren't for them," she swears, she wouldn't be there. Lee asks specifically for clarification on if it's really the whole team, for some reason, and she smiles apologetically at Sean: "Well, two." Roxanne and Tammy. Sean gets even more squirmy and squirrelly, whining about how he can explain what would cause him to pull that shit -- which he can't do, because it basically admits to taking the long odds on Rebecca's "integrity" move last season by choosing the most insane person in all of New York City and then describing how very much he believes in her. Problem being: he has no integrity, just a bunch of propaganda about himself, and Rebecca has five times the nuts he does anyway. Allie describes has as "a fence-sitter" who chose to go "over to the dark side" at the last moment. A place Allie knows intimately.