Blow Out

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: F | Grade It Now!
Lesson Ten: Girls R Just Dum

Charmaine jumps on the "Michael is the finest orator" train with a quickness. I always did like that girl. "I don't think Michael is dramatic at all -- Tarek seems to get so defensive if he thinks nobody's on his side..." Trump asks if they didn't fight a lot, Tarek and Charmaine, and they agree that they did. Tarek offers, by way of explanation, that Charmaine is an emotional rollercoaster, and instead of returning the serve and pointing out that Tarek is a petulant child who pisses and sabotages whenever he doesn't get to be in charge, but has never had a creative thought in his life, she goes on this whole thing -- Carolyn's eyes like stoplights on her face -- how she's acted as Tarek's "biggest fan," how she was the very happiest cheerleader in Trump Tower when Tarek survived his first Boardroom as PM, but that he never seemed to "relinquish...that title of PM." Because in the Burger Kingdom, you have to ask politely. She describes the personal journey of Charmaine, where in retrospect, every single task was basically completely under his control, because he wouldn't let the PM do anything or be in control at all. I throw up my hands -- she can go too. That's a stupid fucking bunch of nothing to say: "He wouldn't stop managing the entire process! He was unstoppable! It was quite rude! But there was nothing I or anyone else could do, though we lost one hundred weeks in a row!"

Tarek says it's absolutely untrue, and adds like it's a related statement that Charmaine always leads by consensus, that "everybody has to agree," when in fact there's always a right or wrong answer. Charmaine, having been effectively led off-track from saying anything of import at all, says that's not how it works in creative tasks, and anyway, the "right" answer is not necessarily the Tarek answer, which is what he actually means. "The reality is, all we were trying to do throughout this task was support you, from beginning to end," he lies. He accuses her of being oversensitive, and takes her protest as license to bring up how she cries constantly, "more than anyone I've seen in my life," and she scoffs. "I've cried twice, and neither time had anything to do with you." He laughs arrogantly and makes a stupid face, and fuckin' Michael pipes the fuck up: "Charmaine did not cry on this task, Mr. Trump." Thanks for the help, weirdo. Tarek takes the handoff brilliantly and seamlessly: "Not on this task," he shouts, hoping to filibuster just long enough that Trump won't hear her explanation (that it happened in both cases in her room, and had nothing to do with business and everything to do with this being a reality TV game show)...yep, there it is: "I don't like crying," says Trump, who would seem to be comprehending less of things today than even usual. Lee sits quietly, his stupid forked tongue flicking around and eyelids nictitating.

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