Blown Away

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | Grade It Now!
Prostitution Bore

As for the winners, well, since we haven't yet seen that Arsenio/Teresa fight we were promised in last week's promo, this seems rather academic. And in fact, the execs "strongly" preferred Lisa's team won. So $100k for Gay Men's Health Crisis, yay! Trump sends them back to the suite to watch the rest of the boardroom on TV. "It's going to be rather brutal."

The You're-Fired-ing:
Trump wants Arsenio to assign some blame, and he... doesn't? He's pretty reticent about going after someone until he's been gone after. Luckily, Teresa soon obliges him. After some talk about the model negotiation (wherein Aubrey cunningly now says it DID matter that they didn't get the models they wanted, even though previously she was crowing about how she was able to fix Teresa's mistake), Teresa says Arsenio played it "safe." Arsenio is offended by this, saying he shot some of the product shots, and that Teresa would be incapable of something like that. In fact, he says Teresa is not even qualified to attack him. Trump asks Arsenio what he brought to the table, and Teresa parrots: "Yes, honey, what did you bring to the table?" Arsenio has his dander up now, while Aubrey is demure for the first time in her entire life. She doesn't even LOOK at Teresa, she's such a sinking ship.

Once again, Teresa says she's "into photography," and Arsenio is rightly like, "WTH does that even MEAN?" He tries to shame her by asking questions about technical specs of photography. Just an absolute dismantling of Teresa in this episode. This show has really exposed what a small pond she's been wreaking havoc in, both in Jersey and on Bravo. Aubrey basically says she was too busy doing the entire task to notice how safe or not safe Arsenio or Teresa were playing it anyway. Can we just declare Aubrey the winner and end the season early? Please?

Arsenio is like "Even the pizza guys thought Aubrey or I was the PM." Teresa says that's a lie. Arsenio rightly calls Teresa out for trying to hitch her wagon to Aubrey's star. Trump then asks how badly everybody wants to win. Aubrey: "Duh!" Arsenio says he wants it more than he's ever wanted anything in his life. REALLY? Even the role in Coming to America? Even all those Video Music Awards hosting gigs?

Anyway, Teresa is OBVIOUSLY fired.

The Oh-My-God-More?:
But wait! Teresa's not the only one going! Rather than a double-elimination in this boardroom, though, we essentially get a jump-start on the next episode. So after Arsenio and Aubrey try to play the SAME joke as before, pretending Aubrey was fired (Lisa doesn't fall for it for a second), the final four toast to their success. Arsenio tries to say something nice about the most recently departed, saying Teresa was a "nice lady." Lisa: "You gotta watch that goddamn show of hers!" SRSLY!

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