Apprentice

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 8 USERS: A+
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Bread And Badda-Bing

"Yes!" bellows Piers after watching Omarosa get fired over the suite's video monitor. He goes so far as to compares the moment to other great moments in his life, such as meeting Nelson Mandela and the Queen of England and the births of his three children (even though, according to Omarosa, they hate him). Lennox warns Piers to apologize to Trace for the kiss as soon as Trace returns. Piers does so, explaining the joke to the confused cowboy. "It's just Brokeback Boardroom," Lennox assures Trace, which is a pretty good line. The worst seems to be over, but Piers's protracted gloating begins to get on Trace's nerves, especially when Stephen invites Piers to imagine competing against Trace if the next task is a country songwriting competition. Piers is just cocky enough right now to get into it, crooning something in a twangy baritone that, for all I know, is already a number one hit. Stephen interviews that ever since switching over to Empresario he's been praying for Piers, lost soul that he is.

The five remaining Apprenti -- Stephen, Piers, Carol, Trace, and Lennox -- meet in the lobby of a building. Trump congratulates Piers on beating Omarosa last night. Piers deadpans about what a sad occasion it is, fooling no one. Trump introduces tonight's viceroys, Ivanka and Broadway producer Daryl Roth. Have you heard of Daryl Roth before? I hadn't heard of her before tonight either, which is why I thought it might be a good idea to sneak a gender-specific pronoun in there. Feel free to stand aghast at my subtlety. The task for tonight: they're going to be inventing and selling a new sandwich at Quiznos, and they'll have to do it without using their celebrity contacts. The team that sells the most sandwiches wins. And they've only got two hours to create their sandwiches and two hours to sell them, so get going. In unrelated news, Trump appears to have gotten a haircut. He still looks like an idiot, but now he looks more like one of those Trump impersonators who never get the hair quite right, instead of looking like the actual Trump. So it's an improvement.

The remains of Empresario, Stephen and Trace (note the complete lack of original Empresario members on Empresario), bond in the van and agree that Trace will be Project Manager. His idea: the "Cowboy Club" "That's a great idea!" Stephen says. "I know," Trace mildly agrees, cracking up Stephen and me. With that out of the way, they predict that Piers will come up with some idea exploiting Lennox. "The heavyweight sandwich that'll knock you out," says Stephen with his piss-poor fake British accent.

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Apprentice

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