Apprentice
Bringing Down The House

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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We hear happy 1950s-sitcom music as we arrive in the Long Island neighborhood where all this will take place. We see a "Children Playing" sign, then a dog, then bikes, then Apex, arriving in a van to shatter the peace of this previously peaceful community. As they look around the house, they notice that the kitchen has some unused space. That's the good side. The bad side is that Kevin comments that the house was "in shambles," and specifically mentions the lack of a second-floor bathroom. He says that they knew that adding siding to the outside of the house would be a good thing, and that adding a second-floor bathroom would work also. Raj meets with the team, telling them that the first priority is to get the bathroom going. He adds that he wants to take out one of the separating walls, turning the house into a three-bedroom rather than a four-bedroom. Jen and Kevin both voice their disapproval so that, you know, they can look good later if it doesn't work out. Jen interviews that "Raj lacks common sense." Chris contributes the useful observation that the team has "no chemistry." Well, that'll get them on the right track. You know, I agree with him, and I think I even know why. None of these people appear to be friends. Remember before? I mean, put aside the critical story element last time of Troy and Kwame's friendship, which paid off huge several different times. Amy and Nick were also friends. Katrina and Ereka were friends. Nick and Bill were friends, at least to a degree. Not all of those people were likable, but you had the feeling that a social dynamic existed -- that the people, in addition to working together, knew each other. It doesn't even feel like they know each other. I have no idea who among these people are friends, if anyone. It's always tempting to idealize the first season of any show, but seriously, it's like now the energy is unrelentingly negative, they're constantly thinking about how to screw each other in the Boardroom, and they don't seem to have any relationships to each other beyond being Boardroom enemies. Something's just off. Look at me, agreeing with Chris. Who saw that coming?

Chris is also the first to burst the bubble on Jen M., specifically mentioning that for all her talk of being a team player, she isn't one -- she thrives on confrontational situations, and he thinks that kind of attitude is what's been screwing the team the entire time. Well, right, but they're all behind that. These people always are certain that if they get rid of the one bad person -- like last week with Elizabeth -- it will all fall into place, because everything is that person's fault, due to the rest of them being totally excellent in every way. You'd think they'd begin to figure out it's them. It's kind of the "the phone calls are coming from inside the house" moment, but you know they're not going to get there. "We need this win," Chris says. "We don't want to be back in that Boardroom." Raj and Jen are still arguing over taking out the wall, and he's explaining that taking out a wall, in and of itself, is not all that hard.

Mosaichaus. They do an inspection, and the annoyingly nasal Sandy -- who looks better and better by the week in comparison with the other women, considering that the only other ones left make me want to renounce my gender citizenship and move to antifeminist figurative Canada -- explains that she became PM because she was the only person left on her team who hadn't done it. Yeah, you can only weasel for so long. She claims to know everyone well, says she's seen mistakes that other PMs have made, and tells us she feels good and optimistic. That makes one of us. Outside the house, Wes meets up with some contractors, telling them that there's a list of projects the team would like them to bid on. It's not clear what day this is, but Wes reminds them that all the work has to be done by 2:00 PM on Sunday. The contractor says that he'll have to take a look and see whether what they want to do is possible. Sandy, meanwhile, wants something removed at the front entryway, and she shows them on a drawing where they want to add cabinets and such in the kitchen. She points out that the task will probably be a big one for Trump, as "real estate is very near and dear to his heart." He's saying that in case you got distracted and convinced yourself he was a sneaker mogul. And please note that the heart is theoretical and has never been sighted. Sandy says that she wants to get the win so that Trump will know she's "versatile." I think for that, you have to be good at two things, actually, but we won't quibble at this point.

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Apprentice

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