Bringing Down The House

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Fop till you drop

We return to the neighborhood and the Mosaichaus, where Sandy meets the appraisers in the front yard. She says she felt pretty good about the house. She brings them in, and we see that in what looks like the living room, they have (it appears) torn up some horrid carpeting and unveiled the wood floors. And they've enormously improved the bathroom, as well. They added cabinets and stuff in the kitchen, and put in a new floor. Other parts of the house got carpeting, and they added a full bath upstairs.

At the Apex Money Pit, Raj is ready to conduct the tour. He shows them the exterior very proudly, and kind of stands there. (LTG: "Heh. He doesn't want them to go inside.") They do go inside, though, and Raj tries to put the best face on their minimal effort by claiming that they did it to maintain flexibility for the homeowners. Because you never know when people might want to leave exactly the same ugly fixtures that are in the house already, and squelching people's creativity is like choking kittens. Anyway, out of respect for any future purchasers, they've renovated the house up, some. The kitchen does have new handles on the cabinets and a new dishwasher. As he takes the appraisers upstairs, though, Raj is forced to explain that after they covered the stairs with brand-new carpeting, the carpeting was destroyed by the tracking of mud and paint. Carolyn marvels at the fact that they didn't cover up the carpeting while they worked, which...yeah, I think even I would have gotten that, especially with all the rain. And then he takes them to the uncompleted bathroom, trying to explain that while it's not finished, there is the promise of a bathroom. It's about hope! In an interview, NotGeorge says that Raj basically had the right idea in adding the bathroom upstairs, but the effect is just a little bit ruined by the fact that the bathroom didn't actually get done.

Now, Raj has the pleasure of explaining that he turned the four-bedroom house into a three-bedroom house. He says that he wishes the visual effect could express how close the place is to being great. "Me, too," says one of the women appraisers ominously. In an interview, Raj says that because this is a real estate task and he's a real estate guy, it's "a must-win situation." Hey, Elizabeth was in one of those last week. Maybe you'll get karmically rewarded for how much help you were to her.

The Boardroom. The teams file in, including their previously fired "assistants." Trump enters. He asks how they liked the real estate business, and Sandy says it was lots of work. And math is hard! NotGeorge first reports that the Apex house was originally appraised at $385,000. After the work, it was appraised at $412,500; that's an increase of 7.14 percent. So after you take out the $20,000 they presumably spent, they managed to make an overall gain of $7500 on the whole deal. Mosaichaus, on the other hand, was originally appraised at $390,000 -- it's good that they got similar properties, I'd point out. After the work, it was appraised at $430,000, for an increase of 10.26 percent. Now, when you look at those numbers, it kind of sounds surprisingly close, considering how bad things looked for Apex. But Mosaic made a gain, taking out the seed money, of $20,000. That's a 100 percent return on the money, as opposed to the 37.5 percent return that Apex got. So it really wasn't all that close -- Mosaic made almost three times the profit on the seed money that Apex did. The team is happy, including Rob, who's extra-happy. Trump actually congratulates Rob on his great attitude, being fully invested even though he doesn't have much to gain. Mosaic's reward will be visiting Denise Rich at her glorious house, flying there by helicopter -- and Rob and Jen C. are going, too. But after that, those two will "get lost." And the most delicious part is that Stacie and Baldford get to come to the Boardroom with Apex to give "advice." Hee. Awesome.

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