Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 626 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Four: How To Sell Brent Michael Buckman Down The River Once Again

Flash Quiz! Your self-obsessed predilection for thinking everything in the universe is an elaborate plot to validate your self-hatred comes up in a boardroom meeting. Do you:

A.: Do a little fake-smile monkey-dance for the Viceroy, because a win for the team means you get to stay, and it's frankly embarrassing that you're being so brutally marginalized?
B.: Passive-aggressively "tell the truth" in such a way as to beg for the Viceroy's sympathy? Even though a small child would be able to deduce that she has none in her?
C.: Take a pass on the whole thing and just reiterate your desire to help the team as a whole, without specifics?

Answer Key: Honestly, on this one I'd go with C., because Ivanka knows damn well that Brent's getting screwed somehow, and she's just asking for the specifics so that she can smack Tammy with them in the Boardroom, so C. actually makes you look the best of the three. Nobody looks like a winner with the situation as it actually stands, so why point that out? It's not a situation where Brent will somehow get exempted from the Boardroom just for having driven the team to active spite, so Ivanka shouldn't be put in that position, because she'll take it out on him eventually. Guess which one Brent picked? Ivanka's like, "The...clothing? For real?" And Brent gets his full Markus on for a sec, giving the impression that they've also been beating him. Ivanka interviews that the team is "trying to manage Brent by having him do absolutely nothing," but that this is a strategy that is "not going to work." I agree with this, in that Brent will always find a way to bug everybody, but my stock answer -- that management is realizing that everybody is good at something -- is getting a real strain hernia from the Brentitude of Brent.

Brent and his dandruff take Tammy aside to reiterate that "his strength is presentation." He's got crumbs on his face as he says this. She's got that jumpy management dance happening that tells us she was just on her way to do something of actual import before Brent ambushed her for this redundant processing session. He nods and nods as she explains, maybe not for the first time, that she and Sean "are very comfortable meeting with executives," because it's their actual jobs rather than a hobby or whatever, and also since the team's not doing the weight-loss thing, the overall package with Brent presenting is not exactly "the image that we want to present to the execs."

Apprentice

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