Apprentice
Cereal Killers

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Lesson Four: How To Sell Brent Michael Buckman Down The River Once Again

The members of Gold Rush go see Jean-Georges at Trump International to cook with him in his...restaurant? Isn't that a golf course? I guess he's the club chef. That is world renown. I wonder if Carolyn ever slaps his face for talking back. ["Trump National is the golf course. Trump International is a hotel which is almost certainly very overpriced, even for New York." -- Wing Chun] The mysterious-yet-not-alluring Leslie appears out of nowhere and the team watches Jean cook for awhile. Lenny keeps giving the chef "hilarious" and unasked-for advice. Tarek interviews that Charmaine rocks because she "added calmness" and wasn't "running around" on their task the whole time acting like a chicken with its head cut off. Which is lovely, but also kind of unfair, because Theresa is like three-quarters of the way to actually being a headless chicken, for all intents and purposes, and you shouldn't poke fun.

Jean finishes some dish, and Lenny decides to "help" by sprinkling cayenne pepper or paprika or whatever all over the dish. Jean calls this either very "1995" or very "1985," but they're both funny, because of an old fairy tale that Anna and I often tell each other at bedtime, or any old time, about how all of Eastern Europe gets shipments once a decade from the Warner's lot, of the last ten years' worth of clothing, so that in 1990, it was all '70s diaphanous gowns and scary Dynasty makeup and shoulder pads, and then last year they all got Jordache jeans for Christmas, and how it's so sad that Hollywood is painted as this uncaring tower of the liberal elite, when they clothe all of Eastern Europe, once a decade, without asking for any praise or recognition. It's not even a tax write-off, because of certain union rules and sanctions, and Angelina Jolie and Ryan Phillippe have risked life and lip on more than one occasion to make sure that these things arrive when they are supposed to, and that makes them heroes and freedom fighters. Freedom for the Eastern Bloc to express itself through fashion. I wipe a tear and hit "Play." Bryce is bitching about the Lenny spice attack ("Like you're Emeril? What's wrong with you?!" but you gotta take that with a pinch of salt, or whatever you'd like, because Bryce is a victim of Lenny from last week and still aching from it).

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Apprentice

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