Apprentice
Cereal Killers

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Lesson Four: How To Sell Brent Michael Buckman Down The River Once Again

They clink glasses of white wine with Jean and sit down to the meal. Charmaine interviews some nonsense about how Jean is a success and a creative person, and that their team won through creativity. They actually won because Charmaine handled Bryce brilliantly, and because Andrea doesn't know what the hell she's doing, but both of those things involved creativity, or the lack of control thereof, so the point stands. Jean talks and talks and Bryce interviews about how Jean is this amazing American story of Horatio Alger, and then says -- with a straight face -- "Why waste a single day not doing the things you love?" Like it's the most original and heartfelt thing he's ever said. How very Dan of him. Jean makes fun of Lenny with the pepper, but Lenny loves it, because abuse is all he knows, because he is obnoxious, and because the French are known for acting like Lenny a lot of the time.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Sorry. I wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared. I need warning for shit like this. So Sean, hair very après-sex, lies in a bed with Roxanne and Allie, all up in each other's jell-o, like octopi. They talk about how they will never get rid of Brent, or something. It's so hard to listen to what they are saying. I can't even think. They lie indolently and sensuously, lost in thought, and Sean interviews that you can't blame Brent because he has no tasks, again the conundrum, and nobody's ever going to ask him to step up. Roxanne mentions the cluttered billboard, because she's not half the groupthinker Sean naturally is, and Sean...agrees, of course: "Too much information." Roxanne interviews that it was Andrea's responsibility to make the billboard look like something other than a big disaster, which she failed to do. And I agree, and this is Andrea's fault, in a way you cannot blame on Brent, in all fairness. But I need Brent gone, and the team needs Brent gone, and I think that if Andrea stays on, she'll reap what she's sown with this crap, so I'm okay with whatever happens. As long as Brent leaves, of course, but I say that every week, and no joy.

Andrea and Tammy sit -- a normal, human distance from each other, on a fainting couch -- are being refreshingly upfront about how the whole thing is straight-up their fault, but that they should probably try to use it against Brent anyway. They bitch at length about how terrible Brent is, warming up for the Boardroom with each other as their audiences. It's cool because it's not done without self-knowledge that they are doing it: "Yes, we fucked up, but it's not like we're going to admit that, so let's screw Brent over." If they were doing the usual -- if they were actually convinced that they'd done nothing wrong -- this would bug me, but I really get the impression that they're just fully practicing ousting Brent with their guilt intact. Which is so much more awesome than the usual. They talk all over each other with destructive soundbites: "This is someone I would never do business with. I don't have confidence in his ability. Rude. Overbearing. Embarrassing. He embarrasses himself!"

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Apprentice

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