Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 497 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
When did "capelets" become all the rage?

And now for the men's stuff. The first model has a huge brown scarf trailing all over the place that looks totally ass, but other than that, it's not a terrible outfit. Nothing I'd pay outrageous money for, but not as bad as much of "high fashion," as far as I'm concerned. Of course, Ivana interviews that her first reaction was, "Who raided my father's attic and who cut up my sofa?" What? For the first outfit? Is she blind? It's a silk top and a tweed skirt, moron. You had quite a bit of tweed yourself, there, you know. Anyway, the second outfit is by far the ugliest -- it's knickers (ugh) and a dark belt/cummerbund/something (ugh) and a floral silky top (ugh). I think Ilse was drunk during that part, because of all of the outfits in both lines, that is, by leaps and bounds, the most horrifying. The third outfit, oddly, consists entirely of items I think are fine, but none of them should be on the same person. The pink capelet is the cutest of the many capelets being shown, the green shirt looks relatively normal, and the red pants are okay, or would be okay with the right top. I would wear any of those items (well, if they fit me, which they wouldn't). Next up is a pair of tan pants (I believe) and an odd plaid shirt, which announcer Isaac Miz-a-ha-ree calls a "blouson," and...okay. Ugly, but not remarkably so. The next outfit is the only one in both lines that made me think, "Okay, that is nice." It's a red wrap top and a gold skirt, and that, I think, is lovely. Or I thought it was until I learned that it has a drawstring hem. Ew. Drawstrings are almost always dorky. They're for bags that hold all your precious 20-sided dice, not for clothing. I still like the top, though. And then again, with the final outfit, the shiny mermaid skirt, while impractical, isn't necessarily ugly in and of itself, but...with a wool plaid vest? What? Interestingly, it appears that Kelly's jacket that he sketched never made it into the collection. One of the buyers, as the men's collection is reviewed, points and enthusiastically says, "That's great!" about, it appears, the first outfit. That would be the one that Ivana said came from her father's attic. She is so knowledgeable about fashion! That's why she did all the designing herself, you know.

Apprentice

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