Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 497 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
When did "capelets" become all the rage?

Maria interviews that she will be the PM for Apex, because she has a minor in home economics. I will freely admit I didn't even know you could get that anymore, and haven't ever even heard of studying home economics in college, except in one of the funniest Mystery Science Theater episodes of all time. ("It's a wonderful world when you're married, and you have a faaamilyyyy!") But that's what I get for going to a crunchy liberal arts school with an Experimental College program -- lots of people didn't know you could get college credit for studying the filmography of Winona Ryder, either, but that's only because they went to the wrong college. At any rate, Maria also claims that she's "made tailored suits." I don't know. I find Maria's taste in clothes to be a little sketchy, actually, so I'm not sure I find this all that compelling, but I won't argue. She certainly seems to wear clothes that are...carefully thought out, in the same way that poodle grooming is carefully thought out. I will leave the wisdom of both to the judgment of the ages. Elsewhere, Kevin admits that the men are a little out of their element with the women's fashion, but he's sure that if they put all their effort into it, they can do fine. It's all about the women sucking wind, you know. That's the most promising thing of all.

And now, the designer segments. The men meet with a red-haired woman in a flowery peasant top and a woman with short, stark, black hair in a flat bob. Wes says they were looking for a designer who wasn't "too out there" but was still "fresh." Someone tall, and yet short. Someone rich, and yet poor. Someone...well, you get the idea. They also meet with a woman in lacy purple sleeves who works with vintage denim, and then with a woman enamored of her own "edge" who goes by the name of Ilse. After Ilse makes the rather unpromising point that her stuff "almost looks like art, but it's not" (in fairness, I have seen many things actually labeled "art" that I would describe similarly), John tells us that he was the one who made the final call that they'd pick Ilse as their designer. The women chat with the short-bob lady, who tells them that her look is kind of "Audrey Hepburn," with the peasant-top lady, and then with a man who says that the trick is to be the low-end product in a high-end store. His name is Darren, and Maria likes him because he "knows the industry from A to Z." Which is 25 letters more than the women know, since they're pretty much limited to "U" for "Unprofessional."

Apprentice

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