Apprentice
Crimes Of Fashion

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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When did "capelets" become all the rage?

Whistling confrontation-in-a-broken-down-saloon music plays as Wes, Kevin, and Andy go to meet with the buyers. Kevin thinks the win will be about selling the line, so talking to the buyers will be an important step in the process. Furthermore, as Kevin says it, since these are the actual buyers they'll be dealing with, they're "trying to generate a little sympathy and set the bar low." In the meeting, one of the buyers wonders how guys in suits can be trying to do women's clothes anyway. Kevin tries for a suave, purring, "we know what we like" answer, but the guy comes back with, "I'm just trying to think of all the very successful straight male fashion designers." Heh. Uh, it's a fair point. The guys look unhappy. So do the world's few straight male fashion designers, who are all, "Oh, marginalized again."

John, Raj, Kelly, and Chris go to the fabric store with Ilse to make some choices. Raj shows Ilse a filmy fabric that's pink with giant raspberry dots. "Too...fluffy? Too...goofy?" he asks. "Goofy. That was the word I was thinking of," Ilse answers. Off to one side, Carolyn chuckles. Raj shows Ilse another fabric, which she rejects. As the guys walk around with bolts of fabric, Carolyn gets a nasty case of the giggles. Raj holds up another light fabric with some purple and gray in it. "Too light," Ilse declares, and Raj stands with a befuddled expression on his face and says, "Okay." Carolyn's giggles take hold, so she's not getting out of it now. She interviews that "the men are clearly out of their element; they have no idea what they're doing." You can see she's still getting over having laughed so hard she had tears running down her face as she points out that Kelly has again become the one with the organizing skills and is pulling them together. Kelly himself interviews that this entire trip is totally disorganized, and that John isn't able to concentrate on one thing. He congratulates himself on "doing the project manager's work." As the guys are leaving, Kelly says, "Let's go, ladies." There's really no situation in which I approve of a guy calling other guys "ladies," because it's never meant as a compliment, you know? So...shut up, Kelly. And...have I mentioned your name is "Kelly," and you might want to back off with that anyway?

That segment contrasts with a segment full of upbeat music in which the women run happily into the fabric store and dive in with great enthusiasm. You are meant to conclude they know all about fabrics, when in fact I think they mostly have a much, much more cooperative and friendly designer. Late in the game, as they're finishing up, Elizabeth and Jen return with the information from the buyer meetings. Elizabeth wonders whether one of the fabrics they've picked out is "rich enough material." Ivana snoterviews about how "every complication is definitely the kiss of death," and they're all Elizabeth's fault. Every one! Without Elizabeth, the team would be sooooo good! Elizabeth asks the women what the centerpiece of the line is, and Ivana tells her it's the "capelet." An item of clothing so stupid that MS Word doesn't even have it in the dictionary. And I'm not adding it. Elizabeth has some concern over the fact that you don't normally go to an expensive designer for a capelet, and I could not agree more. Ivana, in her interview: "It was just frustrating the hell out of me, because it was just like, 'You are creating noise, and...we don't need it!'" Ivana badly needs to graduate from her internal production of Bring It On, in which she is both the Courtney and the Whitney. Back in the fabric store, Ivana lectures Elizabeth about how the capelet is the signature item, so she should shut up. "I don't mean to be a bitch, but this is what we're going with," she declares -- completely being a bitch, as so many people are right after they say they don't mean to be a bitch -- and she immediately takes a little sip of her coffee. I'm not surprised that she's one of those latte-toting people who loves to punctuate everything with a slug off of her little paper cup. She really is detestable. Almost as much as Stacy, though in a totally different way. Speaking of Stacy, you'll be shocked to see that she's not doing jack shit on this task, any more than she has done jack shit in any other task. Hmm. What do you know? Still managing to dodge responsibility at every turn.

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