NCL checks out Synergy first, and they all look adorable in their very Norwegian heavy-wool light blue scarves. Roxanne has two voices, and the second one, which she sometimes uses in interview and always with a client, sounds like she's just been slapped by a well-meaning person. They show the commercial, which is busy and whizzy and jumpy and hyper and effective. Andrea watches the smiling faces of the executives with dread, and Michael is so intense that even the unused conference table behind the table moves a little closer to the wall away from him. The tag line is "It's all about you," and I swear I almost blew my own mind trying to figure out who came up with it, because...it's less prominent on this team than the other, but there are still a bunch of suspects. Roxanne explains how the first four seconds were this huge risk, but that huge risks pay off sometimes, and maybe this will be one of the times. The first four seconds were in a scratchy old-timey sepia tone, and I wonder if that wasn't more effective than the "black-and-white" they all keep calling it, because when you're a cruise line, I imagine anything that makes you look fresh and young is heaven sent, so even if the sepia stuff was just by accident, it works better at portraying the lie that NCL is more fun than any other stupid cruise than anything else. They are told they did a good job and bounce, and Michael bows intensely as he closes the door, like a weird little North Pole elf. Admittedly, one who is in a cult -- don't go thinking "elf" connotes any kind of cuteness or snuggletude in this context: he'll still cut you.

GR come in wearing black, the men in yellow ties, which is funny because they're like the only people that make the Hives look humble. An exec mentions how great they look, and without even thinking about it, Tarek thanks him. Dan talks an amazing amount of salesman shit about how the commercial is a metaphor for something, and then the whole team behind him flips up glossy pictures of various locations onboard, and you know that kind of presentation makes me nervous, but he finally starts it up. All you see is words. "Freedom." "Welcome anytime [sic]." "Dine anytime [sic]." "Entertainment anytime [sic]." "Indulge anytime [sic]." Whatever. "Billiards anytime [sic]." "Cocktails anytime [sic]." "Strokes anytime [sic]." "Buying drugs for off-label use in port cities anytime [sic]." "Getting retarded cornrows anytime [sic]." "Awful and inescapable black-hole conversations with addled elderly people anytime [sic]." "Eat yourself sick on shrimp cocktail like a disgusting glutton anytime [sic]." "The hot steward on Blue Deck will not fuck you at anytime [sic]." "The disgusting pee-smell of rancid ocean water in Anyport, [sic], anytime [sic]." "Glittery bedazzled sweatshirts with horses on them anytime [sic]." "Embarrassed fourteen-year-old anorexics with braces at the table next to you anytime [sic]." "Closet doors constantly sliding open anytime [sic]." It ends on: "Go your own way anytime [sic]." Which is fine.