Cruise Control

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Five: Zip It! How Many Times Do You Need To Hear This?

Into the Boardroom! Dan says hi to Robin without even thinking, because he's like that: friendly and salesy. Carolyn is...wearing a lizard...flak jacket. White. It's amazing. Trump asks Dan what happened, and Dan replies that it was a close call. That's one. When asked, Charmaine says that as PM, "There's room for improvement with Dan," and that there are "things he could've done differently." Trump turns his attention to some blonde woman, calling her "Leslie," and mentioning that she always flies under the radar. I'll say. Charmaine says that the blonde woman "definitely wanted to be involved" in the task, that she has the background, and that over any one of them, she should have been involved. The blonde says she tried to get involved numerous times, and then she and Dan and Lee (for some ass-kissy reason) get into a screaming match over whether or not she made clear that intention, or her background, vocally enough, and Tarek jumps in, and then it's a four-way shamefest that doesn't even involve Lenny or Bryce. It goes on and on and on, endlessly, as Carolyn smirks, and finally, when Dan raises his voice, says, "Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?" They all totally agree...that the other participants are being assholes. So hilarious. "[Because] you kinda sound like you're ten years old," she says with just an amazing amount of animus. Trump says that at least they got some "energy" out of Leslie, and then the blonde woman responds that she has plenty, but is never heard by the team. She overstatedly and Brentishly tells Trump she'd "never again" want to work under Dan, because it was "utter chaos," and that she wanted to "[Brent] off the boat the second the task began." Carolyn is like, "Whoa!"

Trump tries to get the deal on the shipwreck storyline one more time, because it's still confusing, and he bitches that the one thing that makes a cruise less appealing is the thought of dying at sea. Which is a very good point, and good on "Trump," by which I mean, "Whoever." I don't think it's a deal-breaker necessarily, and it's not what killed them, but I honestly hadn't thought about that. There was a great Melrose Place, in fact, where Amanda tricked Allison into pitching some kind of bridal suicide scenario to a cruise line, and it turned out of course that the top exec for the cruise line's daughter had...committed suicide by jumping off a ship in her wedding dress. Or something along those lines. So what I'm saying is, I should have been prepared, but there was too much Dan and too much Dan talking to really think critically. Trump tells Lenny that the idea stank, and gets really stuck on this point, which is not minor, but is not the problem. Dan is the problem, and Dan is why they lost. Lenny puts forth the best possible defense, which is that the team moved forward with it, and honestly, that's the only answer he need give. Trump says NCL didn't like it, but he means, "I or somebody else noticed that it was a bad idea, and I'm so proud of that realization that you are going to be fired." Which Dan should have fucking picked up on. Whenever you come up with something that makes you feel smart, if you're not very introspective, it becomes the only real thing, and Dan could have sent Lenny home with one finger.

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