Cruise Control

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Five: Zip It! How Many Times Do You Need To Hear This?

Synergy at nearly two hours to go. Allie discusses the idea of comparing the usual cruise schedule with the freestyle schedule, and Andrea talks about how they're shooting all these scenes, and giving all kinds of unasked-for and contradictory input. The director asks her a question, and Andrea says he'll "have to talk to Roxanne," who is the PM, and who is wandering around the ship for some reason. I'm sure that was cut in from somewhere, because she seems to be doing a good job, but I do like that we get at least a sense of Andrea's point of view here, given what is going to happen. The director of the crew tries to get Andrea to involve herself in the scene and tell the actors what to do, and she interviews to us that Roxanne did not delegate, did not manage timelines, could not get it together, was not a good leader. But I'm still not seeing where Andrea gets off. It's sad when you fall out of love, but even sadder when you realize the person was never going to live up to your fucked-up ideal. I said to the baby: "This is why no motorcycle jackets, ever. You think you can reform them, only to find out that they have mommy issues out to here and the whole thing was a huge lie all the time and really they just want you to make a run for the border while they bitch and whine, and the next thing you know, they want you to yell at them and make them clean the oven or whatever, because they're such bad, naughty boys. People with an actual dark side, whom you should also avoid, spend a fair amount of time hiding that fact." Anna's like, "Stop telling my daughter about deviants. It's bad enough that she ever saw Brent."

Andrea and Sean do what they do, respectively: Andrea bitches about the PM's lack of qualifications, and Sean repeats whatever the last words were in his earhole at top volume. He's like the personification of echoes. Andrea's like, "This could be going so much faster," and Sean shrieks, "Who's directing this?!" Another ignorance cut of Roxanne: "Are they filming right now?" Sean "directs" the family at the Benihana-type grill, meaning that he Brits at them with outrageous volume and unbelievably cheesy sincerity about how much "fun" they're having and it's so "wow" and so great and so soul-killingly, desperately uncool, and he's making it worse. Roxanne tells him to shut up and that they're moving along to the next location. Tammy interviews that time is not so much becoming an issue, as the issue that it already was is now growing fangs. The director advises Roxanne that there's a time crunch occurring and that there really needs to be "one voice." Which can only mean that Andrea is about to blow the doors off the asshole bunker, I guarantee it. Our love was short, but it meant something to me. Everybody was telling me it was a bad idea and I'd just get burned in the end, but did I listen? Hell no. I love the smell of a motorcycle jacket, even if it belongs to someone who's so precious she doesn't even own a fucking TV because she's too busy doing yoga and being better than everybody.

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