Jen explains to us that Webber has bailed out for good, and now they have to figure something else out. She tells her team that the "contingency plan" is to have another player emcee it, and when Chris asks what the emcee does, Jen says that he just has to introduce the game and talk about the charity. So...yeah, you would think that you could maybe find someone who could speak coherently for thirty seconds, given the presence of a stable of NBA players and VIPs. Hell, ask Trump if he'd like to headline. He'd probably say yes, and you'd get extra points for improving the quality of the entertainment, and also, he would look short. And anything that translates Trump's fundamental shrimpiness of heart into something a little more literal would qualify as a good thing in my book. Jen interviews that the next day will be crazy, so she's looking to get as much done as possible tonight.
It is 12:30 AM at the Greenwich Polo Club, and we have moved into Operation Goodie Bag. John -- with much infantile "this is so lame" tone dripping from his voice that I'm surprised he's not being pushed around in a stroller in a diaper with a pacifier hanging out of his mouth -- explains to Raj how they have to put the various items in the bags. Quite put-upon, these two. Apparently, they have to put together four hundred of these bags, which Raj declares "undignified." I can only add that it might be a little more dignified if they didn't spread detritus all over the office until it looks like the lounge of a college dorm during exam week. ["When Raj says it's 'undignified,' I think what he secretly means is that it's a girl's job." -- Wing Chun] Kelly interviews, in segment that's somewhat oddly interspersed with more footage of Raj and John screwing around with all the swag, that he's just hoping and praying that the sun will shine on the polo match. Because rain and horses and rich people are a bad combination, unless you like your Versace suits with muddy hoofprints all over them.
Back at the office, the situation only deteriorates further when Raj and John decide to crack open a bottle of champagne. Oh, man. A late night, a difficult task, and alcohol. That is also not a great combination, especially when you throw in a couple of guys who are barely coherent to begin with. All they need now is a game of Truth or Dare, and this will be every really stupid night I spent in college. Kelly looks on with a disapproving frown, and then he explains that John had "a couple" of glasses, and sure enough, John looks a bit chemically enhanced as he and Raj move their project forward by...throwing stuff at each other. John declares in an interview that, sure, he got "loopy" and Kelly got "pissy," but he doesn't care. And that's your professionalism for you, right there. There's not a boss in the world who doesn't love a guy whose answer to any request is basically, "Well...what are you going to do to me if I don't?"