Apprentice
Decision Time (2)

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Flair, Care, And The Dirty Chair

What's more, John has now grown so bitchy that he's telling Kelly they should hire people to put together the bags, because it's just too darn hard, and it takes "a long time." "The way you're doing it right now, it absolutely will," Kelly says evenly, pointing out that if, instead, they would line all the items up in an orderly way, the four people on the team could get an assembly line going and do the bags in about half an hour. That would require Kelly to take a minute off from renumbering the columns in his Excel spreadsheet (which is entitled "143 Ways I Am Pretty And Smart And Everyone Says So"), which might take a little longer. But other than that, I have to agree with Kelly that goodie-bag assembly is no time for piles labeled "miscellaneous." Kelly tells us that his edict to the team was that the goodie bags had to be done before people could go to bed. John complains loudly to Raj that he told Kelly to "have this done by a bunch of minimum laborers." Well, yeah. He could do that. Or you could work, you bland, lifeless little hamster, which is what you're there to do. In an interview, Carolyn says that Kelly wasn't doing much of a job motivating the "fired staff." She calls Kelly "robotic," and says that with the three people not even needing to be there for any particular reason, Kelly might want to be a little nicer to them. I seriously doubt that Kelly is robotic, incidentally. No set of specs would call for eyes that beady.

At 2:45 in the morning -- which is approaching the Witching Hour For Total Uselessness, in my experience -- Jen is talking to Stacy about greeting and setting up the VIPs. Chris interviews that because of the importance of what Jennifer is doing, he won't be surprised if she stays up all night. And did she? Yes, she did. She confirms that indeed, she stayed up while she sent the rest of the team off for a couple of hours of sleep. As we watch the clock tick forward to 4:00 in the morning, however, Pamela voices over that it was goofy, in her opinion, for Jen to be up all night long running off signs on the printer, of all things. She proposes that perhaps if she were going to be up anyway, Jen might have chosen to spend her time thinking through what she's going to do about the sponsors and the organization of the event. Furthermore, those are some ugly signs. There isn't even a little clip-art picture of a cartoon guy holding up a sign that says, "V.I.P.!" and offering a comically exaggerated thumbs-up.

At the Polo Club, the KELLY2004A2674 has been partially recharged via an AC adapter, and is plugging into the cigarette lighter in a big SUV so that he can take Elizabeth to Kinko's. Ah, Kinko's. The last refuge of the late-night taskmaster, and, I have always believed, a place that sounds from its name like it should sell handcuffs and inflatable First Ladies of the United States. And it totally doesn't. Elizabeth winds up in the back seat with a laptop, probably reading off Mapquest directions as Kelly tries to drive. Unfortunately, while it was supposed to be a fifteen-minute drive, Kelly says that it probably took forty-five minutes to an hour to find the place, "driving around the back woods of Connecticut." Hey, I've wound up in the back woods of Connecticut trying to get from Minneapolis to Bloomington, so I'm not judging. ["I blame Mapquest, which may have sent them through both Minneapolis and Bloomington on their way to Connecticut." -- Wing Chun] Kelly goes on to explain that he doesn't require any sleep, but that he wants the team to get some, because Raj will be "useless" if he winds up sleep-deprived, and Raj has big stuff he's in charge of in the morning. Like, undoubtedly, complaining.

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Apprentice

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