Aaaanyway, Kelly and Jen shake hands, and then he reaches over and shakes Trump's hand and thanks him. And the crowd goes...well, the crowd goes "yay," at least. Hugs are exchanged among all the contestants. Regis promises us that lots of stuff is still coming up, including lots of gossip, and...Omarosa! Who I can only hope is now just about done, given that we have a whole new crop of former contestants.
When we first return, Regis shows us that Kelly is sitting over with the rest of the candidates, and Trump replays last year by bringing Kelly over to sit at the table. When Kelly goes to get Carolyn's chair, Trump tells him not to. Because Carolyn's "very tough." And I would repeat, the pulling out of chairs is fine in social situations and lovely on dates, but in a Boardroom, it's a dick move, because it's about dominance, not etiquette.
And now, the very, very sad part where the O'Jays sing. I really don't want to talk about it. Because they're old, and the song doesn't sound good, and it hurts me. And there's a guy in the audience dancing with Assorama. And the candidates are dancing. Including Little Stacy, who doesn't know where the claps go. And Jen C., who loses a fake nail. And Maria, who thinks she's doing a "the face I'm making is part of the dance" dance. Fortunately, it lasts about thirty seconds, and then the O'Jays are returned to their Plexiglas box. Assorama gives them a standing ovation all by herself. Did that really happen? I'm going to pretend it didn't.
Now, it's time for Trump to offer Kelly two possible jobs. First, Trump is building the new Trump National Hotel Tower And Wife Dungeon in Las Vegas. There, Kelly will have ready access to hookers, and he will hone his skills pointing at many important documents while cameras roll. On stage, Kelly stares at a model of the TNHTAWD and thinks to himself, "Not." Trump now explains that there is also Trump Place in New York, and if Kelly takes that job, he can work for Trump on other buildings, too. In the clip for this project, Trump claims that Trump Place is "one of the largest land developments anywhere in the world." I think if Trump ever goes bankrupt again and they really want to sanction him, they should require him to report accurately the relative significance of all his projects in the future. Brochures would be required to carry yooge headlines such as, "Pretty big!" "Not too shabby!" "A drop in the bucket!" And, of course, many more. Oh, and Trump Place "will continue through 2010," long after Kelly has gone bald and become a local radio talk-show host.













Comments