Apprentice
Decision Time (3)

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y...

Anyway, trying to answer the criticisms that have been made of her all season, Jen goes on to rattle off a list of her "accomplishments," and it turns out to be one of those situations where you're really better off not naming your accomplishments if they don't sound very good. She claims that she came up with the name for the "Metamorphor" in the first task. Which...is fine, but takes about three seconds. She then claims that she "helped create the ice cream flavor" -- that would be the ice cream flavor that we saw Maria propose, so what do you suppose a weaselly phrase like "helped create" means, exactly? Because she could have been a taster, for all the meaning that has. She brings up the QVC task -- pretty much her one true accomplishment, in which it's hard to dispute she did well. But again, that's presentation, and I don't think there's anyone who disputes that Jen is a very smooth public speaker, or even that she's infinitely better at that particular function than Kelly is. If I were picking a PR representative, I'd totally go with Jen, assuming she didn't have to manage anyone. Anyway, she also says that she washed and groomed dogs, which would be better if Kelly hadn't done exactly the same thing in exactly the same task, making it hard to make that a "pro" for yourself. Jen calls all of these things "quiet leadership." Huh. I think I'll have to call bullshit on the act of yelling "Metamorphor!" being referred to as "quiet leadership." Hip to public opinion of her and the one thing for which she earned most of her early goodwill, Jen brings up "defending a scapegoat on [her] team," and again, I was certainly glad she did that, at least somewhat, although my sense is that that was about how much she couldn't stand Elizabeth more than it was about trying to help Stacie. She refers to her own "strong integrity" in doing "these things," so I guess she's giving herself integrity points for the Red Velvet. Interesting.

Trump points out to Jennifer that "a lot of [her] teammates did not like [her]." Hard to argue with that. Jen says that she was "willing to take an unpopular approach if it meant defending someone who was a scapegoat" (hmm, never bring up the same thing twice in fifteen seconds; it sounds desperate) or "standing up for [her] integrity." Those would be better arguments if those were the reasons no one liked her. No one liked her, it seemed to me, because she didn't do any work and, frustratingly, Trump didn't seem to care. That might not be why Ivana didn't like her, but I think it's why, say, Sandy didn't like her, and I think it's why Kevin didn't like her. And I don't really think that Jen's shouting at Sandy about Jen's superior "intellectual horsepower," which is probably a big part of why Sandy doesn't like her, was a time when it was necessary to defend her integrity. But wait! Maybe it was. Jen goes on: "I was not willing to talk behind people's backs." So apparently, her argument is that she should be admired for being so nasty to people (like Sandy) that they couldn't stand her, because the only alternative is to say the same things behind their backs. Is that the idea? Now that is some high-grade bullshit. I have no use for her, but I wouldn't want her for an enemy, because that is an incredibly audaciously ridiculous argument, and there's a place for those in the world.

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Apprentice

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