Apprentice
Decision Time (3)

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y...

Oh, Pamela. She doesn't like either of Jen or Kelly, but she makes some kind of pro-Jen argument based on "business ethics," which she doesn't explain, so it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense. She does praise Jen's "compassion for other people," which is...interesting, and which perhaps one might ask Sandy about. But anyway. Apparently, Pamela has some kind of bonnet-bee about business ethics having to do with Kelly. It would be nifty to know what it was, but that would take away from the time available for random strangers in the audience to yell out their opinions.

Regis tells us that we are going to commercials, and that when we return, Trump will make the final call. I can't even say "it's about time," due to its already being about an hour and a half past time.

And indeed, when we return, Regis gives the introduction for Jen via a series of clips of her awesomeness. And then Jen comes out and gives the dopey two-handed wave to the audience, and finally, she has a seat at the Boardroom table. Trump asks her if she's having fun. "Having a great time," she says, wearing the unmistakably uncomfortable smile of She Whose Chickens Are Coming Home To Roost, And Boy, Do They Cluck Loud. Regis introduces the clip show by which we remind ourselves that we don't like Kelly, either. Kelly now comes out and manages to avoid the two-handed wave, so there's one thing he did right. He goes over and pushes in Jen's chair as they sit down, which, yeah, not so much with the gesture of dominance, dick. For some stupid reason, seeing her chair pulled out causes Trump to turn to Jen and says, "You're actually a much nicer person than people think," to which she answers, "I'm only tough when I have to be." She's nicer? Because people don't pull out chairs for bitches? You know, actually, that would explain a lot.

Trump opens the festivities by asking Jen "why [Trump] should not take Kelly over [her]." The house lights go down, leaving Jen spotlighted as she explains that she has "risen to the top of every organization of which [she's] been a part." She claims to have risen to the top of her class at Princeton. She says she "rose to the top at Harvard" (meeeeaning?), "rose to the top at [her] law firm" (meeeeaning?), and she "lead[s] in a little bit of a quieter way than Kelly." I'd just like to point out that graduating at the top of your class in law school or college does not require leadership. I graduated pretty well-situated from law school, and I didn't do anything to achieve that particular distinction except take exams. So "rising to the top" of an academic class certainly doesn't make you a leader; it makes you academically strong. Which is fine. Academics are nice -- they're academics.

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Apprentice

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