Protégé's first visit is to an artist who introduces himself to the four of them as "Giles." What's awesome is that in an interview just after this, Assorama refers to him as "Giles" with a hard "G" -- basically, "guiles," which is not how his name is pronounced, or how practically anyone with that name pronounces it. Isaac Mizrahi is at home, going, "Well, I guess I was smart not to take that personally." Also, note that this is the first appearance of the weirdest interview ever, a stand-up that Assorama does next to a giant window, in which she is wearing a black skirt, a white sleeveless top, and a pink scarf around her neck and thrown back behind her. She looks like Executive Robot Barbie. Anyway, she says that when they went to see "Guiles," she thought "quintessential New York artist who puts splatter against the wall and calls it art." I'm sure the New York artists out there really appreciate your input, chickadee. She says, though, that he "had a different edge." Apparently, Giles likes to put some of his DNA on every painting, so there's hair from the sink in some of the paintings, for instance, and toenail clippings. For some reason, although you would think this would be a ripe opportunity for comedy, the only thing that is occurring to me at this point is some kind of very Catskills-ish "throwing yourself into your work" joke, which really seems to be unworthy of the situation. There's hair...from the sink...in the painting...yeah, I have nothing. Well, not until this next thing happens. Assorama caresses something stuck to one of the paintings. "What is this clear [thing]?" she asks, with her eyes and nose about an inch from the crusted-over canvas. Cut to Heidi, smirking, then rolling her eyes. Assorama tells Giles that after ten minutes, she feels they've "connected." I think she's about to propose. For some reason, there's a discussion about touching his work that leads Assorama to think it's okay to pet his arm like he's a stuffed puppy, which...no. Again with the Heidi eye-rolling, which again I sympathize with. Just another one of those Vulcan mind-melds Heidi and I are always having, I guess. Heidi interviews that she would never choose to work with Assorama in the real world, because their styles simply don't agree with each other. Moreover, when she sees Assorama's style -- and I am quoting here -- Heidi is "like, oh my God." Can I say "word" to Heidi? I'm not sure I can. I think I might break something. Like the space-time continuum.
Episode Report CardMiss Alli: A | 846 USERS: C+
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