DNA, Heads, And The Undead Kitty

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Adieu, Connoisseur of Art and Water

Over at Protégé's gallery, Carolyn surveys the decimated tray of nibbles. Assorama claims that everything at the gallery "fell into place" and she feels confident. As the camera carefully points out, though, somebody really needs to clean up the food and drink table, because it looks like somebody's dirty kitchen after a party. There's fruit everywhere, dirty glasses...there is work not being done, I'm saying. Troy tries to sell a painting like this: "Again, her thought process is far beyond my comprehension. Just the little indoendoes [what is that, all of a sudden?], the snake in the grass over there, the skull...I mean, she is amazing." The guy looks around like, "Is there more to this, or is this the whole painting?" Troy interviews that art is indeed his "Achilles heel," because he knows bubkes about it. And, in this case, he can't fake it, unlike with water from Poland. He then explains to several guys that one of the paintings stands for the dichotomy that guys want a virgin outside the bedroom and a whore inside. And Troy took some crap for saying that this week, but it doesn't mean he or Meghan would be endorsing the concept, just pointing it out. And he's hardly be the first person to suggest such a notion exists.

Assorama gives a phony, very pageant-y interview in which she chuckles over how Troy and Heidi don't understand art, and they "have no appreciation of this particular genre." I don't think anybody understands this genre, if we're talking about the "Photoshop frogs and concubines" genre, actually, so...shut up. We then see Heidi giving what I will agree is a pretty lackluster explanation of the art, which...I mean, as Trump said, it's hard to sell people something you dislike. Heidi then takes the woman over to one piece that's based around a cast-iron thingamabob that Heidi describes as a "toilet tank." When you pull the chain, it reveals a picture. The woman asks if that means it's supposed to go over a toilet, and Heidi laughs. Oh, silly lady! Of course not! How can she not "get" what you're supposed to do with toilet tank art? Heidi interviews that art is "subjective, it's how you see it." There's a brilliant cut, and we see Meghan explain the same piece, pointing out that it is in fact a "cast-iron fireplace cover." Oh. Well, then. Heidi interviews that "so [she] made a looked like a damn toilet bowl to [her]." Could've asked, I guess, but why risk looking silly when you can just say it's made out of a toilet? Back in the gallery, she tells someone it looked like a toilet seat. So apparently, she's not sure what part of the toilet it looked like, but it looked very toilet-y to her.

Troy and Heidi meet up and talk about how hard it is, and the fact that neither of them has sold anything. Troy interviews that the gallery owner, Madalyn, made a very apt comment, which is that they're all business types, and Meghan is an artist, and they're in a gallery, and "there needs to be some more communication." I'm not actually sure that would have helped, but hey, Madalyn is doing her best. Kwame interviews at the gallery that they still have a couple of hours, and he's hoping that they'll be able to sell some big pieces.

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