When we return from commercial, the week's business motto title card says, "Dog Does Not Eat Dog." Trump explains to us that the best thing you can do as a businessperson is to be surrounded by "talented people who also happen to be loyal." He also adds that if someone isn't loyal to you once, you shouldn't give them a second chance, because they won't be loyal next time, either. We watch Boyfriend Bill and Kwame walk into the Boardroom and greet George and Carolyn. Trump joins them. He opens with a lame remark about how everyone thought he'd pick a pretty woman. Good God, who thought that? I certainly didn't. "I'm stuck with two guys," he says, in a way he thinks is endearing. "The fact is that you guys were the best, and when it comes to business, I don't play games." Trump explains to them that their final task will involve overseeing a pair of big events. Bill will be running the Chrysler Trump Golf Tournament, while Kwame will be running the Jessica Simpson concert at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Hey, that's not fair. Whoever has to deal with Jessica Simpson should get a head start or be spotted five points or something, because golf balls are far more self-reliant than Jessica. I'm serious -- compared to Jessica, golf balls live by their wits. Trump says that their last test will be how they do running this event. And only one person will become the Apprentice. As bosses, they're going to need employees, so Trump is going to bring in some people from whom they will select their staff. He buzzes to Robin to let "the people" come into the Boardroom, and she tells the unseen visitors that they can go in.
The Boardroom door opens, and Troy is the first through the door. Somewhere, I envision Sars yelling, "TROOOOY!" ["That's more or less what happened." -- Sars] Heidi, Katrina, Nick, Amy, and Assorama follow. Heidi seems particularly fixated on touching Bill and Kwame a lot, with the arm-rubbing and the shoulder-clasping. "See how they're kissing your ass already?" Trump observes. Snerk. George and Carolyn laugh. Trump tells the guys that they'll be picking who they want on their team. Bill will get the first pick, and who does he pick? Amy, of course. Could my eyes roll any more? Will these guys ever stop throwing hunks of buffalo meat into the gaping maw of her enormous ego? Jesus. Kwame, predictably, picks his "main man in combat, Troy McClain." Awww. I was so happy to see them together again, it was a little bit wrong. Bill's next pick is Katrina. Really? Before Nick? Or Heidi? Does Bill not remember how horrible Katrina has been to him on certain occasions? And also...well, Sars will share her now-famous sentiment regarding Katrina with you right about here. ["HATE!" -- Sars] Kwame picks Assorama, which is completely preposterous, but which makes me laugh, because...take that, Heidi. There's also an interesting theory floating around on the forums that Kwame knew he was stuck with her because he had the last pick, and it would be better not to pick her last, since she's such a horribly bad sport and probably carrying a grudge anyway. It's an interesting theory. I'd like to think that was why he picked her when he did. At any rate, left with Nick and Heidi, Bill picks Nick. Kwame is stuck with Heidi. She smiles tightly. Looks good on you, loser.