Down To The Wire, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Goodbye, young lovers

There has been, of course, plentiful speculation about whether this was somehow planned, given that it's such an egregious, unambiguous, and demonstrable lie. There are those who believe that this was behavior she was somehow told to engage in -- that Assorama is a mole, or a plant, or represents a special kind of test as part of the final task. Most of this speculation arises, I guess, from the belief that no one would be shitty enough to just lie through her teeth about what happened in order to avoid being blamed, and that no one would be stupid enough to expect to get away with it in this setting. I don't believe the plant/mole theory for a minute, for several reasons.

First, if she were a mole engaging in planned sabotage, it would be better television if they told us that. It would be better television to watch her scheming to undermine him after being directed to do so. All you'd have to do is show her receiving a separate set of instructions and explaining them in an interview. Easy to do, and much more tension-creating, because you'd see every mistake Kwame was making in not dealing with her, and you'd know what the stakes were. Second, her lying to save her own ass isn't really sabotage of Kwame. By then, Diane had already told Kwame that she talked to Assorama, and there's no doubt in my mind that Kwame knew by the end of that scene that Assorama had screwed up -- witness his "I didn't have the luxury of firing her" speech. I can imagine Assorama screwing up the transportation to "test" Kwame, but lying about something like whether she talked to Diane? That does nothing but save her own ass. It doesn't hurt him any more than he's already been hurt by the screw-up itself. Third, they showed things that just don't make any sense if it's planned. Why would they show Diane explaining what she told Assorama to do? Why would Diane have called and yelled at Assorama about it instead of going right to Kwame? Is the theory that Diane wasn't in on it? They arranged to sabotage the transportation of the entertainer and the band, and they didn't tell the director of entertainment? I think that's impossible. These are real events, and I don't believe that the show would or could arrange to have them genuinely fucked up, and if it did, the very first thing it would do was tell everyone who needed to know, in order to make sure that no actual harmful screw-ups took place. And the first person you would tell? Would be Diane, meaning that the conversation between her and Assorama on the phone at Mark Anthony's would never have happened, because Kwame wasn't aware of it and it therefore wouldn't benefit the charade for them to go through the motions of having that chat.

And finally, I don't believe she's a plant because it's completely consistent with everything else Assorama does. Even putting aside the "n-word" story that I promised to never touch again, she has been nailed for lying about a whole pantload of stuff since she got off the show. It's very sad, but it appears that this is what she does. I don't see any reason to think this is some kind of planned sabotage rather than a continuation of her normal pattern, which quite frankly is getting pretty creepy. And the show can't really be exploiting that pattern, because they didn't know about it when they shot this. It's not like they knew that she was going to get off the show and immediately make up all kinds of shit about the show and everybody on it, so that seeing her lie would make sense. I really don't think she's a plant. I think she just sucks.

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