When we return from commercials, Trump is still waiting around with Diane, Secondary NotGeorge, and some other people, as Kwame tries to figure out where Assorama and Jessica have gone. "So where the hell are they?" Trump asks.
We cut to Assorama's neglected, forgotten walkie-talkie, which is sitting in her bag as people try desperately to get in touch with her. We pull back to see that we are in Jessica's suite, where Assorama is just hanging out and thinking about how great she is and how she's breathing air molecules recently exhaled by a genuine famous person. At the moment, more specifically, Assorama is trying on a ridiculous and huge black hat with feathers, to what she thinks is the amusement of Jessica and her entourage. Jessica smiles politely. Nick looks at Assorama like he can't get her out of his room fast enough. I swear, I've seen dogs who will pee on the floor in front of the neighbors who, compared to Assorama, really know how to read a room.
Kwame is still with Trump, calling for Assorama, but mercifully, Troy receives word that Jessica may well be up in her room already. He relays this to Kwame, and a now very grumpy Trump says that he'll just go up to the suite. "Come on, let's go. Man," he snaps. So Trump, Melania, Kwame, and Secondary NotGeorge head up to Jessica's suite. And when they get there, who answers the door? Assorama, of course. Inside, Trump chats up Jessica. Melania takes the opportunity to coo over how "cute" she thinks Newlyweds is. I suspect Melania thinks that Nick and Jessica are being ironic, or else that Melania doesn't know why thinking that "Chicken of the Sea" is tuna is funny either, so she feels Jessica's pain. Or lack of pain, or whatever that expression is that Jessica is always wearing.
But enough of Jessica's pain -- back to Kwame's pain. Kwame's pain in the ass, specifically. "[Assorama], I would never hire, because she's very intelligent, but she's a space cadet," he interviews. Snerk. Kwame goes on to say that it's hard to get in touch with Assorama, and she "wastes a lot of time and a lot of effort, and I don't have time for that. That's not how business is done." Obviously, Kwame isn't working for the right companies. Kwame recalls all of the awkwardness about Trump meeting Jessica, and calls it "the first time that [he] thought [he] could be fired." Really? With nine losses? For God's sake, Kwame, it should have occurred to you before now. Wake up, pumpkin -- it's a hazardous world out there.













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