Down To The Wire, Part II

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
He's just a Bill

The music drums dramatically as Amy says that Trump National is a gorgeous course. She coos about the money Trump put into renovating it, and then says that with the beauty of the setting, and the nice fall weather, and the "good-looking" men, it was quite a day. By "good-looking," of course, Amy means "rich." And her mention of how great it is when the men are all wearing "their golf uniforms" strikes me as a little bit off. I've never in my life lusted after a guy specifically attired for golf, and that is the truth. I think it's the pants. ["Also, 'uniforms'? Shut up, Amy." -- Sars] Anyway, for better or for worse, golf ensues. Bill mingles, introducing himself to some of the players. More golf. Trump happily announces a birdie, which he probably paid someone to sink for him. As an independent contractor, of course, and not as an employee, because employees get benefits and have to be covered by workers' comp.

Back at the clubhouse, Bill tells Lesley that Trump is on his way back from his round. When Trump returns, Bill asks him how the golf went, and Trump says it went well. "Eighteen under," he says of his group. "I can't see losing." Bill smiles and says that he likes that attitude. Bill interviews that Trump's foursome won the tournament. Wow, there's a shocker. Quite a remarkable coincidence. Bill also says that Trump seemed impressed with the seamlessness of the proceedings. He says that he himself was also pleased, as things were "relatively flawless." Hee. I wonder what "relatively flawless" means. He gives a little thanks-everybody speech at the end of the tournament in which he, well, thanks everybody, and also takes the opportunity to pimp the charity. Trump steps up and adds his comments, and publicly congratulates Bill on a great job. "I don't know if you're going to win or not," he says, "but congratulations on doing a good job."

For one of a very few times during this task, we see Nick, who is carrying a couple of golf bags. He interviews that Bill is performing like 1968 Namath -- "Bill's the man for the job, and he's just doing a wonderful job." Thanks, Nick. Crawl back in your hole now, where you apparently spent this entire task. And also, wipe that look off your face. What look, you ask? Well, pretty much any look you have on your face at any time deserves to be wiped off. Trump stops to talk to Katrina and Amy, who are eating something or other and are probably mortified to be caught doing so. Trump pauses as he steps in his limousine to inform us that he had a great day and a great round of golf, and now he's heading for Atlantic City to see how Kwame is doing. The Trumpicopter takes off, and we slide away from Briarcliff.

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