Down To The Wire, Part II

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
He's just a Bill

And then we are back in Atlantic City, where Kwame leaves the Purple Office, saying that he's meeting Trump on the helipad, and wants to have a briefing ready for him to reassure him that they're doing everything. When the helicopter lands, Kwame is indeed right there waiting to meet Trump. Melania exits the helicopter behind Trump, but no one pays any attention to her, because she has her coat on so you can't see her boobs. Kwame limits his attention to Donald, and he runs down the facts: Jessica arrived safely (eventually), they had the breakfast that morning (well, kind of), and the meet and greet is now in progress (uh, pretty much). Trump asks where all the VIPs are now, and Kwame says they're in Diamond Ballroom A.

Speaking of Diamond Ballroom A, now we are there, and Jessica is still signing autographs. In an interview in which Troy appears to be stuck in a tree (don't ask, I have no idea...contestant contracts are a mystery), he says that the meet and greet was going well at this point. Jessica, however, was getting antsy about the time, because she still had to eat and have her hair done and fluff her cerebral cortex and so forth. Assorama is enjoying the privilege of being Jessica's personal best friend far too much, by the way. Kwame, walking with Trump, radios Heidi and Troy to tell them that he's on the way down to the ballroom with Trump, and Troy gives him the right-on. "Thank you very much," Troy says into the walkie-talkie with a wry smile. "We're working on the talent." Hee. Troy interviews that Trump wanted to meet Jessica in the ballroom. Back at the meet and greet, Troy tells Assorama and Heidi that Trump wants to meet Jessica, and Heidi says that this might be a problem, because Joe really wants to hustle Jessica out of the meet and greet, and doesn't want to wait. Not even to meet Trump? Fool. Jessica stands around looking peevish, and Troy leaves the room briefly. Assorama, loving every minute of being Jessica Simpson's BFF, says that they might as well leave too. Oy. So she and Jessica are gone.

Trump, Melania, and Kwame approach the ballroom, as Trump assures Kwame that the helicopter flight went fine, and that Kwame will most likely travel that way himself someday. Back in the ballroom, Troy tells Heidi that there's no Jessica. "I left the room for two seconds!" he interviews in disbelief. I think on the list of Jobs You Do Not Want Under Any Circumstances Ever, you will find "Tracking Assorama and Jessica Simpson" listed somewhere near "Testing Types of Peppers To See How Much It Hurts When You Smear Them In Your Eyes." Kwame tries to get Assorama on the walkie-talkie, but nothing doing. Trump enters the ballroom, and of course, there's no Jessica. Troy briefs Kwame, who then goes and breaks the news to Trump that Jessica has taken off already and won't be back, because she'll have to go straight to the stage. A surprisingly serene Trump says that's fine, because they can go backstage to see her. With this plan in mind, he, Kwame, and Melania take off. When they get backstage, or wherever it is Kwame takes Donald to look for Jessica, however, he doesn't find Jessica, so Trump and Secondary NotGeorge are standing around with their respective thumbs in their ears with nothing to do. This does not make Trump happy. "Come on, Kwame, time is money," he snaps, rather unnecessarily, I'd say. Trump looks mightily unhappy, and at that, Kwame looks mightily unhappy as well. "Come on, Kwame, let's go!" Trump barks.

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