Apprentice
Down To The Wire, Part II

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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He's just a Bill

They gather their things and leave, with Bill saying "say goodbye to the loft" as they go. We linger on shots of S4, which really isn't all that worthy of lingering over, considering that it just looks like a lot of money was splattered on the walls to what is in some cases very strange effect. The anime room, for instance, still squicks me out, many weeks after I first saw it. I never did get used to the feeling that the cartoon characters who were competing on the show were being stalked by cartoon characters even larger and sillier than they were.

And now, the unmistakable Boardroom music, and the evening, and the lights, and the elevator doors opening. It is time, indeed, for the final Boardroom. Both Bill and Kwame thank and shake hands with the elevator guy as they go. Aw, hee -- always thank the staff. Robin invites the boys to have a seat on the lobby couch and wait. They do. She watches them slyly, wondering which is a better kisser. (Oh, she is too. And so are you.) Kwame tells Bill that he's glad it came down to him and someone he respects. "'Cause I can make peace with that, you know?" "Me, too," Bill says with a smile. Just then, the elevator doors open, and the six candidates who were on the teams over the last few days get off and walk into the Boardroom, leaving a concerned Bill and Kwame to stew on the couch.

In the Boardroom, the teams sit down at the table from which they have all already been dismissed. Trump starts by asking Team Kwame how they enjoyed the Taj Mahal. Assorama takes charge, saying that they loved it. And did Jessica do well, Trump wonders? Of course, Assorama assures him, she did a wonderful job. "Did you think Jessica was very beautiful?" Trump weirdly asks Assorama. "Yeah, she's a pretty girl," Assorama says in a very measured, slightly condescending way that clearly indicates she wouldn't go as far as "very beautiful." Because Jessica is not her, of course, so she can't be the utmost pinnacle of beauty. "Pretty, or beautiful?" Trump asks Assorama. "She's beautiful," George barks, which throws the entire room into hysterics. Oh, George, you hilarious old horndog. "Jessica was beautiful," Trump repeats when everyone regains their composure. "And you thought Kwame was...good? Okay? Great?" Heidi says that Kwame was good. She complains, though, that he "relied on Troy too much." Because of course, Kwame's failure to stroke Heidi's ego enough is going to come back to haunt him, as everyone should have known it would. Trump points out that there's nothing wrong with relying on Troy if Troy knows what he's doing. He asks her if she thinks Troy is better than Kwame. "No," she says flatly. And then she checks herself slightly, because her answer sounded more like "Hell, not at all, because Troy is a potato-head." She tries to get out of it by just saying Kwame did a good job, but Trump wants to know what she means when she says he relied on Troy too much. Heidi says that Troy and Kwame have this "bond." Which is true, but who cares? Why would that be bad? She has nothing. "What about Kwame?" Trump asks, looking over at Troy, "because I don't care about you; you've been fired." Troy laughs. "What about Kwame? Do you love Kwame?" HA! That's one of those things I almost can't believe really happened, but it did. "He does," Heidi says smugly as the rest of the folks chuckle. Carolyn laughs her scrunchy-face laugh that always makes me want to crack up. Apparently, the clever Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters were not the only ones to note the HoYay! going on between Kwame and Troy. Of course, I suspect that satellites picked up the HoYay! going on between Kwame and Troy. Old, decrepit satellites with failing reception, even.

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Apprentice

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