Down To The Wire, Part II

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
He's just a Bill

The next thing you know, it is 5:30 AM at Briarcliff Manor. Outside the clubhouse, Nick is greeting Bill, commenting that it's early, and it's cold. As it turns out, Bill roused the team at about 4:30 in the morning on the Saturday of the golf tournament so that they could get an early start. Bill interviews that he "would rather have more time than not enough time." Seriously. The team is probably lucky he let them go to sleep at all rather than pouring Red Bull down their throats at 3:00 AM while he hollered at them to keep polishing the golf balls. He comments that he was impressed that when he went to fetch the team at 5:15, Katrina was ready to go. "It's the first time in thirteen weeks that she's been ready to go on time," he smiles, "so I've got to give her credit. I owe her one, that's for sure." Indeed, in the clubhouse, Katrina and Amy exchange a "Jesus, it's early, and we should really kill him" look as they wait to leave. It's positively bizarre watching how buddy-buddy Amy and Katrina are throughout this task, by the way, considering that not only was Katrina extraordinarily bitchy about Amy when she was fired, but in the post-show press, she has done everything short of calling Amy a tramp. But for now? They're practically sisters, eeeee! Let's do each other's nails! At any rate, we watch Bill stride purposefully across the parking lot of the club as the sun is just beginning to peek out, and he re-explains his task as tournament director for this particular event. Incidentally, anytime there is a description of Bill walking anywhere while the golf tournament is going on, you should envision something at least as intense as "strides purposefully." Because today, Bill doesn't know from the carefree mosey.

Bill makes his way into one of the offices, where he explains to a guy (who I'm thinking is on the ground crew or something) that the team has managed to lose a Marquis Jet sign somewhere along the way. Apparently, the sign was among the stuff that was errantly stored in the model home and then had to be moved when Lesley made it clear that Model Home Garage Storage Requisition Form 5834 had not been properly completed in triplicate, and thus everything had to be moved into the office. Bill describes the sign to the guy, and the guy promises to keep an eye out for it. This is also where Boyfriend Bill receives the bad news that the tournament is going to suffer a "frost delay." Apparently, you can't walk on the golf course while there's frost, lest you "crack the grass" or "allow an invasion by actual native plants" or something. Therefore, their tournament, scheduled to tee off at 9:00 AM, won't be starting until at least 10:30. Bill is immediately aware that this is going to screw up the agenda for the whole day, and he makes his very first constipated face of the day. It will not be his last. Bill asks the guy, very seriously, how the club would normally handle an onset of frost, and the guy is like, "Well, we drink coffee until it's warmer." Heh. Take that, you type-A tobacco-pusher.

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