Apprentice
Down To The Wire, Part II

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He's just a Bill

Trump asks Heidi what she thinks about all this, and she says she and Assorama should take a two-hour lunch and talk about it. And then she winks, which is how you can tell she thinks she's funny. It's certainly the only way you can tell anyone would think she's funny. Not that you can discern the wink all that easily underneath the forty pounds of eye shadow. Goodness.

Trump moves on to Ereka, and in case you're wondering whether he thinks Assorama is utterly full of shit, he tells Ereka that he thinks that she has "suffered" because of Assorama and the charges she's leveled. "Mr. Trump, I would have fired her," Ereka says. Ereka's face is unbelievably, blindingly shiny. I know it's not really about that right now, but still. STILL. "She's a liar, and I've known that for a long time," Ereka burbles simply. Trump makes a comment about hoping that everything turns out all right for her. He also tells Assorama she needs to "straighten out the truth," and Assorama is all, "Oh, we will," as if she has a leg to stand on, which? She doesn't.

Trump moves to Nick and Amy, whom he calls a "pathetic" romance. Certainly is getting blunt as we go on, isn't he? The pathetic lovebirds themselves confirm, as they have elsewhere, that they dated for a short time after the show, but it didn't last, wonder of wonders. Trump complains that it wasn't "hot" -- all we ever saw was a kiss. Amy says that's all there ever was, which I certainly think is a pile of crapola, but then, I'm just the recapper. What do I know? Trump tells Amy that this is "good virtue" on her part. Ew! Shut up, Trump. I mean, pardon me for snorting at the word "virtue," but seriously. Anyway, are the two of them together now? No, they confirm. Trump asks who broke it off, and Nick specifically passes it off to Amy, who says that they decided to remain "very close friends." "Yeah, I've had some very close friends," Trump says ruefully, and Nick laughs and says, "Yeah, me too." Trump continues, "It's cost me a lot of money." Everyone laughs. Because dirty old men, even when they're young, are just inherently funny, apparently.

"You know, there's a guy in the room named Troy," Trump says, "who everybody loves." He asks Troy what he has to say, and Troy just repeats how happy he was to have the chance to make his dream of meeting Trump come true. "It was an honor to meet you," he says, "and I'm coming back." Trump tells him that he can come back anytime. We see Troy's wife applauding in the audience. She looks nice, but kind of too old and too tall for Troy. I expected someone more wee and perky. And generally, this clip show is stupid, in case you haven't noticed. Don't worry; it's almost over.

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Apprentice

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