Apprentice
Down To The Wire, Part II

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He's just a Bill

Now, Trump calls out a salute to Carolyn and George. Trump calls Carolyn "Lady Di," which obviously embarrasses her, but she has no idea what to say, and she works for Donald Trump, so fortunately, she's used to her boss saying weird things to her. Trump tells us that both Carolyn and George are tough and smart, but "have big hearts." Aw. He thanks them some more. Thanks, Carolyn and George!

Trump says that they've got other business to deal with, and first up is Bill getting his new car -- a Chrysler Crossfire, which is parked outside. Nice little car, if you like your cars cute enough to smear their front bumpers with Bonne Bell Lip Smackers. Trump stares at the cue card as he tells us how awesome Chrysler was for being a sponsor. He thanks everyone like Steinbrenner who got involved before they knew the show would be so hot. Warm applause for the sponsors. ["Except there was totally this long pause while the audience was like, 'We have to applaud for…Steinbrenner? Yuck. Oh, all right.'" -- Sars] Trump promises a preview of the next Apprentice. Yeah, right. I'm sure it will be quite a preview, considering casting isn't even finished.

After the commercial, we enter the obligatory Sam sequence, in which we see his weird handshake moment and such. We return to the live show, where Trump comments that Sam was "a piece of work." Trump asks Sam how he's doing, and Sam says that he has a proposition for Trump. He says that Trump is paying Bill $250,000 to work for him -- well, Sam has a suitcase full of money, and he's willing to pay Trump $250,000 to work for him. Trump doesn't blow him off at all, but instead demands that Sam come over and hand over the cash. Which he does. Trump promises to consider it, provided it turns out to be real money. Heh. It's funny, because I wouldn't put it past Sam to offer Trump $250,000 for a job, but I also wouldn't put it past Sam to have a thriving counterfeit operation in his basement, powered by hamsters on wheels. And the hamsters would survive on a new kind of protein pellet that Sam invented himself.

Trump goes to Heidi to ask about her mom. Happily, her mom is fine, and is there in the audience. And happily for Mom, Mom didn't apparently teach Heidi about eye shadow. Or perhaps that particular bit of bad luck skipped a generation.

Trump points out that Tammy is going to have a baby, but once the applause is over, when she tries to say, "My husband and I --" Trump cuts her off by going to Jason. Golly. Ten seconds to a customer, I guess. No talking, chumps! You're still fired! Jason confirms that he's doing fine in Detroit real estate. "He's able to collect his rent, finally," David snots, and he obviously thinks that's funny, although I honestly couldn't tell you why. Trump comments that he hears all the candidates have gotten job offers, and they all confirm that they have.

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Apprentice

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