Down To The Wire, Part II

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
He's just a Bill

In the purple-carpeted office, Kwame is trying to reach Assorama on her walkie-talkie, but she's unavailable, because she's extremely busy screwing around onstage with Jessica's band. And her skirt? Obscenely short. Just like old times. But meanwhile, Jessica is late for her meet and greet, because Assorama isn't getting her there. Heidi is apologizing to the VIPs for the late start, and she's promising that they expect Jessica very shortly. Kwame continues to page Assorama, who continues to frolic with the band, asking about the whereabouts of her tambourine. Ah, Assorama as a tambourine. Tuneless, useless, devoid of purpose...that's one perfect metaphor she accidentally came up with. Kwame says back in the office that Assorama won't pick up her phone. Somebody eventually catches up with Assorama over by the stage, and she claims that she's been telling Jessica that they need to leave for the meet and greet -- which may or may not be true. She would say it either way, obviously, true or not. Finally, she picks up the phone for Kwame and tells him that she's got Jessica on the way to the meet and greet.

We watch a lavender-sweatered Jessica walk up to the ballroom, and then Heidi, inside, spots her and runs over to greet her. Heidi seats Jessica at her autograph-signing table, and Jessica gives the idiot two-handed wave as she sits down. As the meet and greet progresses, we visit with Kwame, who is back in the office talking about how difficult it is to keep everything organized in a complex task like this. He repeats that his leadership style depends on the assumption that the people he puts in charge are competent. He says that otherwise, you're doing your own job and everyone else's as well, and that benefits no one. I would understand that attitude if your goal as a manager were the personal growth of your employees, but in this case, what is he trying to do, improve Heidi and Assorama as people? Yeah, good luck with that. When he's done, I'd like to be taller.

Briarcliff. Trump, from his perch in the tent, declares that it's time to play golf, so the tournament gets underway. Many wealthy men stand around hitting golf balls, and then Trump gets in his cart. "Let's win it," he says. And that's only a little bit stupid, but then he adds, "Kick ass," which is extremely hilarious. For some reason, even as a guy with a few billion dollars who has probably driven many a normal citizen into abject poverty, Trump really can't pull off "kick ass." As a bevy of golf carts heads down the winding path, Bill interviews that once the tournament got moving, he felt the pressure begin to ease. He says that now he's "going into event planning mode" in preparation for the dinner that will follow the tournament. Amy directs some SUV or other to turn around inside the tent, I think. Preparations are made for dinner, and somebody gets a martini. Meaning that somebody either has no taste in drinks or has never had tequila. Outside, Bill tells Carolyn as they walk toward the tent that he put a schedule in her mailbox of everything that's going to happen for the rest of the day. Bill interviews that Lesley and Carolyn "run a very tight ship," in that the club is "very exclusive" and everything has to be top of the line at all times. He says that it was therefore a stressful day, but ultimately, he thinks they've got everything covered. "Presentation-wise, I think it looks great," he tells Carolyn as they survey the dinner. "How do you think it looks?" "I think it looks great," she says simply. She interviews that overall, she thought Bill did very well. "Were there quite a few hiccups? Absolutely," she says. "Is that par for the course? Absolutely." Ew, was that a golf pun? I would think Carolyn would be so above a golf pun. If she weren't, I'd think she'd do nothing else all day, and that's not even counting all the "hole" jokes that she would have to keep inside her head and not tell anyone about.

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