Apprentice
Episode 2

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Golden Rod

First off, Trump advises us all to get our shit done, then there's a ridonkulous amount of filler re-introducing the contestants, including Blagojevich (who "took time away from his busy career," says Trump) talking about premature ejaculation. Ugh. Then we learn what happened last week: Cyndi Lauper warbled her way into many a Diner diner's heart, but it wasn't enough to win the task -- in part because Team Tenacity was a giant clusterfuck that didn't understand low prices = less money and also in part because The Donald himself effectively mock-blocked her biggest would-be donor, Rosie "The Pig" O'Donnell. Cyndi tells him as much, and Ol' Bird's Nest stays true to form, bullying the bejesus out of the least tenacious team members (Maria) until she finally screamed out "Carol!" just to make the pain stop. So, even though Carol really couldn't have known from her vantage point mid-task that she wasn't serving her team best, Trump fires her. Because getting rid of Cyndi would have been a crime against all things rad. So score one Bret Michaels and Team Diabeetus... ummm, I mean RockSolid.

We rejoin the guys in the champagne room as they debate over who they think will get the boot. The consensus is Carol, which is quickly confirmed when Cyndi comes in looking less-than-triumphant (more wrecked, honestly). Then begins a session of bus-throwing about who threw Carol under the bus. Meta! Sinbad discussed RockSolid's strategy that Cyndi is too nice to be a boss, so they knew the team would fold in on itself. Then Cyndi rambles a bit about how "money talks, bullshit walks -- can I say that on TV?" Awesome. Credits.

The next day, Bret meets some kids that getting help from the American Diabetes Association. He shares his own story of being diagnosed at age six and invites them into the boardroom where one of the kids goes, "Bret, you're fired!" After that, he presents the 100 grand winnings to the kids and says it will help them go to a special camp.

Some time later, Trump, Don, Ivanka, and some suits reconvene with the team. Trump grills Cyndi about losing team, probing her about losing team morale. She says she doesn't feel bad because it had to happen, and she thinks her team is still strong. So do the men, granted they have more to base this feeling on. Trump introduces the suits: Jeff Hayzlett, Chief Marketing Officer of Kodak, and Leslie Dance, the brand's VP of Marketing. Jeff tasks them with creating a storefront "Kodak Moment" experience. They'll be judged on originality, messaging, and overall experience. RockSolid taps Sinbad to be this week's Project Manager. Tenacity wants Sharon, but she demurs because she's feeling ill, so the clutch position falls to Maria, who claims to enjoy working behind the scenes and wants to prove she's more than a gigantic rack, dubious singing voice, and even more dubious blood clot-esque hat.

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Apprentice

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