Apprentice

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Thin Ice

Back at Kotu, Dennis and Tom play games on The Office website. The guys finally decide that Tom should be the presenter. Tom feels like he's been jerked around, and he's kind of pissy about it, but he agrees. Tom points out that he has been given no responsibilities or power on this task. Herschel gets nonsensically offended and calls Tom a liar. Tom shows surprising restraint but makes it clear that he will not abide being called a liar. Dennis hands him what looks like chocolate milk (?) to "take the edge off," and they make a plan to go get a beer after the presentation.

Because this is a two-hour ep, we get yet another Trump-spirational speech. This time, he lectures about closing the deal. In short, no amount of work or creativity will matter if the client isn't happy.

Khloe says everyone was nervous before the pitch, especially her. Inside, Trump and Tony await Athena's presentation. Claudia takes the stage and starts strong, despite Natalie's Mizz Z looking like a busted hybrid of Mary Roach and Nikki McKibbin. Claudia makes the first of her flubs when she calls Trump and Tony women. Whoops! They also have a gratuitously kick-ass picture of a woman slamming her face into her computer keyboard, all "I. AM. SO. FUR-RUST-TER-ATED!" Despite this genius, the pitch -- which we learn is basically identical to the men's -- is pretty much a disaster scenario of stuttering and unnecessary self-correction. What's worse, Mary Roach McKibbin even announces that the costume is a visual catastrophe that she would never wear in public... or even out in the hallway. What a hag. In sum, it's not looking so great for the goddesses. Next, Tom takes the stage for the men and does a pretty solid job. Brian doesn't appear to agree with me, as he shakes his head dubiously from the front row. Also, props to that model for wearing skin-tight silver spandex. That shit ain't easy.

They head out, and Tony points out that it was stupid to call the heroine EEE since it has nothing to do with the unique Zappos Z. Though he did appreciate their focus on the customer. As for the ladies, he liked their understanding of the company's values and culture, though he gave them low marks for presentation and pronunciation on the company name. He starts to announce the winner... but we cut to commercials.

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Apprentice

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